The Last Marauder
by Cannon-Core
Summary: James and Peter have died and Sirius is in prison leaving Remus all alone, haunted by his past betrayals and haunted even more by the green eyed lightening scared kid in his DADA classes. What was he to do? He missed Sirius, his best friend and so much more. Now that the Prisoner of Azkaban has escaped Remus is only worried for Harry...but who really needed protecting? SLASH RL/SB
1. Of Lone Wolves and Suicidal Thoughts

**Disclaimer: **_This is a work of __**fiction**__, a series of images from my own __**twisted mind**__, a story that JK would probably flinch in __**disgust **__at if she were ever to set eyes on it. __**I am sick**__, something I know, and something I embrace. These characters do not belong to me but I will take full responsibility for the __**grotesque thoughts and plots**__ that ensue. I apologize in advance for the people I know I will offend._

_This is __**SLASH**__, tender at times but mostly filled with angst. But do not be mistaken every moment, tender, passionate or angsty, sweaty and heated in filled with irrevocable and inconceivable __**love.**_

**The Last Marauder  
****Chapter One**

**Of Lone Wolves and Suicidal Thoughts**

The moon was soft in the night sky, a slit of a crescent among the glimmering stars. It shimmered brilliantly in its own reflection on the black watery surface below. The beauty of this moment would have been nothing less than phenomenal if _he_ hadn't been the one looking down at it. The warm summer breeze blew the wisps of his long, thinning hair from his face. Despite the warm winds he shivered, pulling his jacket tighter around his neck.

He stood on the covered bridge looking down at the black water below him, memories of his years at Hogwarts haunting him more and more as the days passed, of his four best friends, and himself on that very bridge many years ago. As a new school year drew up on him he could hardly believe that his dream of becoming a teacher was finally coming true. He was going to teach the young witches and wizards of Hogwarts. He laughed spitefully, his voice weak and cracking. He was a teacher alright. He was this year's cursed defense against the dark arts teacher. How long would this last? Would he break the yearly record? Not likely.

He leaned his bony elbows on the railing of the covered bridge, looking down once more at the rushing water. If he jumped would he survive? Probably, Dumbledore was smart enough to put enchantments on every possible death threat on the grounds. And the school being a giant castle with many open windows, he assumed there were many of them. Once again that old man thwarted with his suicide ideas.

The newspaper clipping he held in his hand from early that day fell from his loose fingers and he watched it blow in the breeze, swishing around in the night sky, and blowing away into oblivion. The man idly found himself wishing that the breeze would blow the image from his mind as well. But no luck, even if he was to forget what he had read, it would be the talk of the wizarding world for ages to come. Slowly he started back to the castle, he needed to finish prepping for classes, but first he had to catch the knight bus to Diagon Alley to pick up some supplies he'd need for his monthly incidents, or as James liked to call it, his "furry little problem".

On that summer night you could find Professor Remus Lupin limping to Hogsmead, his mind stuck on that haunting head line, _"Black Still At Large!"_ The image of his ex-best friend, and so much more on the cover, struggling against hands, screaming in fury, driven to insanity from Merlin only knows what. His heart wretched at the sight and he knew that it was going to be a long year, full of painful memories. Memories of his close friends James and Lily Potter on their beautiful wedding day, and their equally as beautiful but all around miserable funeral. Memories of his best friend Sirius Black's handsome face smiling, always smiling, that was before he turned out to be a traitor, something he would have never seen coming in the man he loved so dearly; and finally memories of his shy, timid and slightly uncanny friend Peter, being blown in to nothing but a finger.

Remus trudged silently, hoping for some sort of solace from this heart wrenching feeling in his chest. He needed a peace of mind, something to give him hope.

This is why he was here at the school this year he reminded himself in a chiding tone. He was determined to see the boy that he hadn't seen in twelve years. The young wizard with his mother's beautiful jem-like eyes and his father's everything else. This was Remus' only chance of ever knowing James and Lily's son, his last chance at being anywhere close to the people of his past.

He was the last Marauder, he was lone and ironically enough he actually was a wolf. He could do nothing to stop the pain in chest, the hollow pit in his stomach and the ever growing thorns in his side.

He is the last Marauder, and this is his story.


	2. Of Drunken Nights and Put Out Lights

**Disclaimer: **_This is a work of __**fiction**__, a series of images from my own __**twisted mind**__, a story that JK would probably flinch in __**disgust **__at if she were ever to set eyes on it. __**I am sick**__, something I know, and something I embrace. These characters do not belong to me but I will take full responsibility for the __**grotesque thoughts and plots**__ that ensue. I apologize in advance for the people I know I will offend._

_This is __**SLASH**__, tender at times but mostly filled with angst. But do not be mistaken every moment, tender, passionate or angsty, sweaty and heated is filled with irrevocable and inconceivable __**love.**_

**The Last Marauder  
****Chapter Two**

** Of Drunken Nights and Put Out Lights **

On the coldest days of the Marauder's fifth year was the year Remus' deepest secret was revealed. Deep in the dungeons where they sat in the empty classroom of their hated Professor Slughorn they took turns taking stinging swigs from the bottle of Firewhiskey Sirius had swiped from his family's stash. They had just returned from Christmas holidays, though they still awaited the arrival of Peter who they had sent to the kitchens for food, they were already deep in a drunken conversation.

"Prongs who have got to be kidding me! Evans is the image of perfection, snogging a girl like that will be the death of you," Sirius laughed loudly.

"Mark my word Mr. Padfoot I will have my Lily in these arms before my life is over," James replied chugging back a mouthful from the bottle, wincing at the burn.

"Wanna bet?"

"Why yes I do. I bet my left testy that by the time I'm twenty I'll have a ring set on that girl's finger!"

All three burst into laughter at that, many hours James Potter had spent speaking of the girl, of how she was the hottest bird he had seen, and what a good romp she would make. Not once had he mentioned his true intentions to the girl. Though both Remus and Sirius had their suspicions on the matter.

"Oh shut it you two! Black you can't hold down a girlfriend and Moony you've never even touched one!" His words slurred and as took another painful swig, thrusting the bottle into Lupin's waiting hands.

"At least I've been with girls," Sirius wiggled his brows suggestively, "if you know what I mean. And I know you do."

Remus choked on his mouthful as he and James burst into thundering guffaws. James slapped his back a couple of times and he finally caught his breath. The other two looked at him, awaiting his comment on the matter. Still holding the bottle he swallowed a big mouthful, his hazy mind holding loosely to the deepest secret it possessed, only a matter of time before it slipped completely… "Well I've never been with a bird before mate, but there was this boy next door to me last summer," he looked to Sirius whose smile faltered and wiggled his eyebrows as well, "If you know what _I_ mean," and then he was laughing again, rolling on the floor as the bottle was ripped from his grip by Sirius.

"I think you've had too much of this Moony," the teen said in an all too serious matter. "You're not used to it like Prongs and I, you don't know your own mind, come on we should get you to bed."

Sirius at this point was not drunk in the least for he had only provided the alcohol, truth was he refused to drink the stuff. Moony on the other hand drank all too much. More than James who was also completely wasted, but at least had the ability to walk, let alone stand.

The teenager with wavy black hair helped the young werewolf from the ground, "Come on Moony, time to go."

"Don't wanna Pad," he mumbled but allowed himself to be dragged anyways.

James laughed loudly as Remus tried to hold himself up on the taller boy, all the while chanting after them, "Tooty-fruity-wolfy!"

The dorm was quiet as Sirius put Lupin to bed, "Pads mate you are such a good dog," he said laughing loudly.

Sirius smirked, "Yeah, yeah get to sleep Moony," he started for the stairs when Remus called his name and he looked back with a questioning gaze.

"Did I come out?" He slurred.

Sirius nodded, "Don't worry though James won't remember and I already had a hunch."

"Then you'll love me anyways?"

Sirius snorted, "You sound like a girl mate, get to sleep before I knock you out with a charm. If you remember this tomorrow maybe I'll give you answer."

Remus nodded, "Goodnight Sirius."

"Night Remus."

That had been the night that Remus Lupin let loose his secret to the one man he wished would never know about it. Lucky enough the drunken werewolf forgot about the confession by the next morning waking in his dorm with an extra loud groan, which enticed a pillow to be thrown at him from the bed next to him that belonged to none other than James Potter, who had promptly finished off the bottle of wizarding liquor when Sirius returned with Peter the night before.

"Shut it Moony my head is pounding," he croaked from the bed. Remus suppressed another groan at the voice and waved his wand hastily. A sigh of relief rose from the two beds. "Thanks mate."

Remus' mind was still hazy as he tried to recall the night before, "What in the hell happened?" he muttered to James.

James shrugged as he stood up, stretching wildly. He was still in his robes, which he failed to notice were definitely vomit covered. "Don't know, therefor it was a good night."

"Yeah and therefore early bedtime tonight, classes tomorrow you know Prongs," Moony threw a pair of socks at the yawning boy.

They dressed quickly, being the only ones in the dorm, and Remus wracked his brain to regain the lost memory of the night before. But nothing came to him, nothing but Sirius' face as he closed the dorm room door and his whispered good night. He only hoped that he hadn't said anything stupid when his mind and body had been so drunken and weak.

"You two missed the good food," Sirius said from behind the Daily Prophet.

James rolled his eyes and stole a roll from his friend's plate. "Where's Peter?"

"Library studying for OWLs, of course," He replied spilling water onto James' lap. James shrieked and stood up, and Sirius took his roll back, taking a generous bite.

Remus, used to the pointless banter ignored it and ate a piece of toast with pumpkin jam on it. "I think I'll go too," he replied.

James waved his wand and dried his pants before dumping a whole plate of bacon onto Sirius' lap, "Well we would come too mate but we have quidditch practice at ten."

Padfoot calmly ate a piece of the bacon, "Sorry Prongs but I actually gotta catch up on my studying, can you spare a hand Moony?"

Remus looked up at his best friend with an eyebrow raised, never before had the Sirius Black asked someone for studying help. He had good grades, moderate in Potions and Charms, Great in Transfigurations and amazing DADA, what could he possibly need help with? And why would he _ever_ miss a _quidditch_ _practice_ over it? No something was definitely up. Images of his drunken night came to mind, but he quickly pushed them aside. No, he must be having trouble in Arithmacy, for the life of him Remus couldn't figure out why he had taken the silly class if he had no interest in it.

"Yeah not a problem Pad, but no offense, I'm not sitting with Peter, I don't feel like going through all of first term's history of magic, and don't get me started on his herbology. No, I've given up trying to tutor him."

Sirius nodded, "I know… I need some one-on-one time with you anyways," he continued eating the bacon in his lap.

"Is that Evens sitting at the Slytherin table? What in the hell is she thinking," Remus looked over his shoulder at the soft hearted Lily Evens sitting next to Severus Snape, seemingly helping him with his homework, probably his potions work.

Remus and Sirius shared a pointed glance before their friend jumped up abruptly, "I gotta go, the others are probably waiting for me."

An hour later you could find Remus and Sirius in the secluded area of the library, going over the Arithmacy homework they had received before the holidays. The two were quite close and Sirius hair was messed from his hands constantly running through it in frustration. He had always had trouble with the numerical magic, but this assignment was particularly hard.

"Look Sirius let's just take a break, and then we'll have another go. Though I do think you should strongly consider quitting the subject. It's obviously not working out for you."

Sirius nodded and closed his book, "I just wanted to take it because you were in it, I thought it'd be fun," he muttered this under his breath but Remus heard it, and a blush came to his face anyways. The blood rush to his face was enough to make him duck a little glad for the dim lighting in that particular part of the library.

There was a secret he held deep in his head, one that he never wanted to be set free, one that would ruin his friendship with not only Sirius but the other two that were somewhere else on the grounds. But still his heart throbbed painfully in his chest every time he was given a chance to be this close, this alone with Sirius Black. He felt like all the girls in the school, pining and fawning over the younger Black brother, and his smug sarcastic ways. Unfortunately Remus would never be accepted into the boy's bed like many of those girls. He lived for the moments that he was able to see the true Sirius, beyond the smart-ass exterior that he showed off to everyone.

"So Moony you were really off your head last night," Sirius said, resting his face on one hand, his elbow on the desk. He idly played with a strand of Remus' hair.

"I-I was?" he stumbled over his words, frightened to hear what he had to say.

"Yeah, but luckily so was James," He smiled softly and Remus felt his heart soar.

He sighed heavily, "What did I say Sirius?"

"Look, just know it changes nothing."

"What did I say?" Remus demanded, his voice raising somewhat, but still quaking slightly.

"You kind of told us that you were…uhm…" he looked directly into his friend's eyes, "You said that you had sex with your neighbour over the summer," not once did he loose eye contact, and his gray eyes seemed to calm the conversation, making it anything but awkward and embarrassing for Remus.

All the same the wolf's eyes still brimmed with tears, and he couldn't help the hitch in his breath, "Sirius you can't tell-"

"Don't worry I won't, it'll be our little secret I swear… but I hope you know that James and Peter won't care, I mean you'd think that out of all of us I would care the most."

"And yet you don't?"

"Mate if you like blokes who am I to judge?" He chuckled leaning back in his chair, "More girls for me," at this he winked and Remus swatted him.

He was so happy that his friend accepted him for his sexuality… the only thing that troubled him was that a secret still lingered in the air between them. The fact that the only _bloke_ that Lupin had his eye on at any time was the very teenager that sat beside him.

"So tell about this guy you romped with, what's his name?"

Remus blushed, "Waldon, his name's Waldon… and it wasn't anything special. I was house sitting for his mom because they went away and I guess he dropped by to pick some things up, he goes to college in Dublin, but he was in town for the weekend. We just got to talking and then one thing led to another… he kind of hurt me but I was happy for a while. It doesn't matter now, he went back home and I don't really want to ever see him again anyways, it wasn't the best moments of my life."

Sirius patted him on the shoulder, "Well you'll be happy you'll see. Now why don't we try this arithmacy thing one more time," he reopened his books and threw a sideways glance at Remus who was staring with wide eyes, hardly able to believe how accepting his friend was being.

"Yeah, alright. One more time I guess."

And so they continued with their work, and not another word was brought up about their conversation. Remus was happy having confided in his best friend, he just hoped that he wouldn't slip up again, because the only other secret he hid was that he was irrevocably and inconceivably in love with none other than Sirius Black himself.

But Fate Always Has Its Way.

**Hey guys! I know there is only like three people reading this but I really want you to know how excited I am about this story, I am so passionate about this couple and I just hope that you will be able to enjoy it as much as I do, so please tell me what you think! Read and Review Like a Good Sport!**


	3. Of Ruined Lives and Angry Gingers

**Disclaimer:**_This is a work of__**fiction**__, a series of images from my own__**twisted mind**__, a story that JK would probably flinch in__**disgust**____at if she were ever to set eyes on it.__**I am sick**__, something I know, and something I embrace. These characters do not belong to me but I will take full responsibility for the__**grotesque thoughts and plots**__that ensue. I apologize in advance for the people I know I will offend._

_This is__**SLASH**__, tender at times but mostly filled with angst. But do not be mistaken every moment, tender, passionate or angsty, sweaty and heated is filled with irrevocable and inconceivable__**love.**_

**The Last Marauder  
****Chapter Three**

**Of Ruined Lives and Angry Gingers**

The first incident which Remus often pondered on was in the final days of the first term in their sixth year, only a year before they were to graduate and go out into the real world. The year had been a hard one, as their pranks had finally come to an abrupt halt as a near deadly one was performed on none other than Severus Snape. After the prank had gone wrong Remus turned on his closest friend, despising Sirius for what he had tried to do. Not that his heart was into it, but he felt more guilty than anything. It was then that Sirius was no longer just the one that provided the alcohol, he was also the one who would drink three quarters of it before sharing, and he was the one who had a new girl in his bed every night, thank god for sound proofing charms. Things went from bad to worse as Sirius started skipping classes to sleep in after staying up every night to drink and sleep around.

Lily Evans, who was now hanging around the boys more and more each day, told them all it was only guilt that drove him to this state, and she suggested many things to help him, but none of them worked, and Sirius grew worse and worse.

One particular afternoon when James was off in the library with Lily, Peter was down in the great hall for a second lunch and Remus sat in his bed, his four curtains pulled secure as he held up a book, reading silently. He heard the giggles of a girl and the seventeen year old's groans as the dorm's door was slammed open and then closed. The stench of firewhisky mixed with muggle liquor was prominent. Remus peeked through the curtains.

Sirius was full out snogging a half-dressed hufflepuff girl against the wall. He was having trouble standing as he was obviously drunk not that the girl cared, she just continued to giggle and pressed harder into Padfoots chest, her hand creeping silently to his belt buckle, pulling it through his jean's loops and dropping it to the floor.

Remus didn't dare move as he watched the two go at it against the wall. His chest ached too deeply for him to move, and he was having trouble breathing. Sirius had changed from the light hearted, charming boy he was into the promiscuous drunk he had become. It had happened so fast, too fast, and Remus hated that he had lost his best friend, lost the man he loved all because of a stupid prank that he had tried to pull.

He remembered the look on Severus' face the next day when he saw him in potions. The pathetic little teenager was shaking at the sight of him, and he muttered in utter fear _"Monster,"_ the one word Remus never wished to heard in his life. and yet Moony felt so much remorse that he could barely keep it inside of him. He couldn't look Snape in the eyes, not for months, nor could he talk to his best friend, the one who had caused it all. Up until then he had been so careful with his transformations, with his friends by his side every month he felt that he had nothing to fear. How could Sirius let him down like he had? It just didn't make any sense to Remus, not one bit.

And yet here he was feeling more guilty than he ever had, watching Sirius straddle the girl on his bed, as she moaned loudly. "Betsy you have amazing tits," Padfoot slurred, his hands on the girl's generous chest, groping freely.

"It's Betty, and thank you… a little charm my friends and I found in an old book," she giggled again, her blonde hair splayed across the bed, her skirt riding up to her hips.

When the sound of Sirius' zipper being undone was heard Remus couldn't contain himself, he leapt from his bed, and pushed Sirius to the floor, away from the girl and hollered as loud as he could, _"Get the fuck out!"_

The girl took one look at the fuming teenager and ran from the room, her robes forgotten on the stairs where they had been discarded.

Sirius huffed and got back up on his bed, pulling a cigarette from his side table drawer and lighting it with the end of his wand, he took a long drag and slowly let it out. He was shirtless, sockless and his pants were undone, showing Remus the black hairs leading a path from his navel to the waistband of his very visible underwear.

Remus swallowed loudly, his voice lost in his throat, and his head clouding with emotion at the sight of the teen's naked chest, and bare hips. He was pale, and long scars covered almost every inch of his torso. Remus knew these were from the nights they spent outside during full moons. Though all of these were old for Sirius hadn't gone out with the other three for months, not since the incident with Snape.

"You ruined my fun Remus," his voice was calm but he looked over Moony with red, tired eyes.

"You have got to stop this Black," Remus spit out, trying not to cry out of anger.

"Stop what?" His teasing tone was made evident as he flicked the lit cigarette in the air and caught its butt between two fingers.

The younger teenager yelled in frustration and threw a pillow at him, "How'd you become such an asshole, huh?"

Sirius tossed the pillow carelessly to the floor and looked at Remus, he was piss drunk but his gaze never faltered as he flicked the cigarette to the floor and got onto his knees creeping to the edge of the bed. Remus, who was only inches away from him, was only taking deep, shallow breaths. "You jealous?" Padfoot breathed, a smirk on his face, his hands gripped the collar of Remus' shirt.

Remus yelled again, this time throwing himself at the larger teen, throwing punches where ever he could hit, he didn't let up until he realized that he had tears streaming down his face, and his punches were weak and pitiful taps with closed fists against an uncaring chest.

"Damn you!" he yelled through his tears, he was straddling him now. Sirius seemed indifferent as he just lay there, his arms splayed out, and his head turned to the side, eyes closed softly. Remus loomed over him, breathing hard and fast. Not sure what to think in that moment.

Soft snores came from Sirius Black's open mouth.

Remus felt the anger start to bubble over and he was shaking. "Of course I'm jealous, you git! How can I not be when you're off shagging random girls every day? I can't stand watching you like this! You're ruining your life, and it's my fault and I can't handle it. I miss you and I don't know what to do, and I'm so sorry that I've caused this. I just want things to go back to normal… please Sirius, please." his voice was slowly fading, he could hardly breathe and still, he sat aloft the teen's narrow hips, his body exposed before him. It was a moment that Remus had been waiting for for such a long time, and it was a complete failure.

The heat radiated off of his body, searing the skin on Remus' cold palm which rested lightly on Sirius' chest. His tears fell onto his bare stomach, but Remus couldn't bring himself to get off of the boy. It was all over, never again would they be this close.

He had screwed it up beyond belief and there was no going back.

"I miss you too Moony," a soft whisper came from the seemingly sleeping body.

Remus looked down at him with his sad brown eyes, only to be met with the trembling grey ones. "Padfoot…" he mumbled, noting the teen's still drunken state.

Sirius sat up, Remus still firmly in his lap. "It wasn't your fault, it was mine. I shouldn't have tried to lure Snape in there… I just wanted to play a prank and I screwed up. It was my fault, and I was the cause for your pain. I never wanted you to feel like a monster. I never wanted to ruin everything, and I just... Remus I just wanted to forget," he whispered the last part, his hand lightly touching his friend's cheek, wiping the tears from his face.

Remus breathed deeply, closing his eyes. Sirius leaned his forehead against his, breathing in the air that Lupin breathed out. He could smell and taste the alcohol on his breath, stronger than any smell in the room.

In that moment he couldn't help it, his self-control was non-existent and he didn't care how much he would later come to regret his actions, but blindly he nudged his lips and brushed them against Sirius'.

He was surprised with the teen's reaction. As Moony pulled away Sirius pressed forward, gripping the smaller body tighter to his, they were chest to chest in a soft, passionate embrace. With a surge of pure and utter emotion Remus felt the anger that still remained flicker, and growled, pushing Sirius flush against the bed, still connected at the lips. His hand traveled up the man's chest, tracing the scars that were scattered there. "You are going to pay for putting me through hell Black," he growled against his lips.

"I know, please let me pay," Sirius' tongue nudged against Remus' lips and he moaned allowing the soft intrusion. Remus took the other's soft bottom lips between his teeth and bit down, the taste of blood went unnoticed as Sirius moaned loudly. Remus' kissed left his lips and started instead traveling across his cheek and down to his throat where he lick, kissed and nipped just as Weldon had done to him so many summers ago. Leaving a mark on the pale skin where a vein throbbed in time with his heart, racing under Remus' tongue.

He wanted him. He needed him. And hell, he would never have him.

A noise on the stairs brought the two apart, and Remus was once again on his own bed, his curtains drawn tightly. "Sirius why is there a girl's hufflepuff robe on the floor?" Lily Evan's voice was discontent and sharp in piercingly silent room.

"Lils, hun, I'm quite drunk so… I don't know."

Remus peeked through the curtains as Lily chucked the rumpled robes at the teen. James, stood there, his eyebrows raised. The girl's face was red with fury, "You disgust me you awful pig! God you _do_ realize that Remus is _right there_ right? Or did you just shag some poor girl with him in the room?"

James, who stood slightly behind his girlfriend lay a hand on her shoulder. "Lily, calm down, he's drunk."

"No! I'm done with this bullshit! Black stop feeling sorry for yourself! It's not worth all the lying and the sleeping around, and who knows what you're doing to your poor liver! How can you can be so thick? Why don't you just wake up and realize you are scaring the crap out of your friends?"

"Lily," Remus said in a firm voice that finally stopped her rambling.

"What?" She yelled, breathing hard, her green eyes lit up in fury.

Remus rose from his bed, and without glancing at Sirius he stepped to the girl. "Look, it's okay, he didn't shag her with me in the room… he was here when I came in. Now why don't we go down to the common room and leave Sirius alone? He needs to sleep off the liquor. We'll talk about this later," when she tried to get past him to probably yell at Padfoot some more Remus pushed her towards James, "No, come on let's go."

She huffed and stormed down the stairs, muttering all the way down to the common room, James was close on her tail. Remus looked behind him at the teenager he loved so sincerely in hurt, only to find he had lit another smoke and was chugging down the remains on a nearly empty bottle of a clear muggle alcohol. He caught Remus' eyes and smirked, "My last one, I swear. Don't want the pretty little Head Girl to blow a fuse and destroy the place. Hey Remmy… you're a hot kisser by the way sweet cheeks," he winked.

Remus could hardly believe the man's words; he couldn't remember a time he hadn't said that to a girl when he sent her from the dorm room in the early hours of the morning. It appeared that he was just one of the boy's _sluts_, maybe…hopefully he really was piss drunk. He hardly remembered anything when he was drunk, part of the reason he stopped going to class.

With tears in his eyes Remus picked up the last piece of pride he possessed, and went down the stone steps, his heart breaking slowly but surely with every movement he made. He could feel nothing, no, he refused to feel anything. He was idiot for thinking that things would ever be any different.

But hey, at least he finally got his wish of being one of the lucky ones invited into the rumoured Sirius Black's bed.

**Another chapter come and gone… seriously wondering if I'm just ruining my time with this one but… why not?**

**So my PLAN for this story is this…**

**Pretty much goes through their seventh year, and the two years leading up to the death of Lily and James, a year after Sirius is sent to Azkaban, and then their reunion in the POA, when they move into Grimmauld Place…and maybe after that… I don't we'll see. ANYWHO if you do read this I would LOVE LOVE LOVE it if you were to review… plzzz and thank youuuuzzz.**


	4. Of Broken Mirrors and Shattered Hearts

**Disclaimer:**_This is a work of__**fiction**__, a series of images from my own__**twisted mind**__, a story that JK would probably flinch in__**disgust**____at if she were ever to set eyes on it.__**I am sick**__, something I know, and something I embrace. These characters do not belong to me but I will take full responsibility for the__**grotesque thoughts and plots**__that ensue. I apologize in advance for the people I know I will offend._

_This is__**SLASH**__, tender at times but mostly filled with angst. But do not be mistaken every moment, tender, passionate or angsty, sweaty and heated in filled with irrevocable and inconceivable__**love.**_

**The Last Marauder  
****Chapter Four**

**Of Broken Mirrors and Shattered Hearts**

The fatal slip up that forever haunted Remus' mind was never forgotten, though it seemed that as quickly as it happened, to Sirius it was gone from his mind by the next morning, when he awoke with a terrible hang over. Remus had his suspicions though, as it would seem that the dog remembered the lecture he had received from Lily. He stopped drinking, and sleeping around, he even went back to his classes and pulled his grades up to where they had been in the previous years. Although with these changes he also dropped out of Arithmacy, something that only added to the discomfort in Remus' stomach.

In their seventh year Remus decided it was time.

The five of them sat in the common room, on the overstuffed couches. Lily's legs draped over James' legs as they played a muggle card game; Peter studying for NEWTs, asking a question every minute or so, sat at a table beside the couch and Sirius beside Remus on the floor as they battled it out in the most epic game of wizards chess to ever be played.

And well Remus watched Sirius' laughing face as his queen knocked the head off of Remus' king, Moony felt that it was indeed time. With his friends around him, all happy and aglow by the light of the flickering fireplace, as the night dwindled on, he could not think of a better time or a better place for his true self to finally come out.

"Hey guys," He said, interrupting Peter as he asked about a simple charm.

Lily's emerald eyes looked to him with a smile, and James peeked over his glasses, his messy hair falling in his eyes. "What's un Rem?" Sirius asked, using a nickname that had only started to stick this year.

He took a deep breath, suddenly feeling nerves well up in his throat, but he forced the words from his mouth, "I'm gay."

Peter's falling book was the first sound in the room, and Remus lowered his eyes to the chess board, scattered with the remains of broken pieces. "…wow," James' voice breathed.

Sirius on the other hand bore a huge grin, "What? Oh for the love of Merlin! This is whole new information that has never reached my ears before this fateful day," his voice was overly dramatic, and Remus had to chuckle. Leave it to Sirius to make a Joke out of any situation.

"You knew Sirius?" Lily's comforting voice sounded from the couch. She too wore a huge smile.

Padfoot scoffed, "Well I _never!_ You think I _knew _about this?"

"He's known since fifth year… and James would too if he hadn't been so drunk," Lupin motioned to Lily's boyfriend who had long since dropped his cards and his eyebrows seemed to stuck trust up into his hair line.

"Well then it serves him right," she replied hopping from James' lap and pulling Remus up to hug him. "I'm so glad you told us Remus, I'm so proud of you."

"It explains a lot," Peter said quietly and James nodded in agreement.

"Yeah like why you never join in on certain conversations that we have… and you know you're still a virgin," James' added the last bit quickly when Lily turned to him with a pointed look at the first comment.

Sirius chuckled, and then attempted (albeit failed horribly) to cover it with a cough. Remus blushed brightly as Lily sat back down on the couch and he was left standing in front of them all. "Well I'm not exactly a virgin…" he mumbled and James jumped up, making an awkward squeaking noise in the back of his throat.

"Okay, okay! Yay you're gay! Thanks for trusting us, now no talking, alright? Okay, Lily I'm going to bed, nighty night," he kissed his girlfriend on the cheek before running off up the stone steps.

Peter muttered something and raced up after him, leaving only three of them in the common room. Lily chuckled and once more hugged Remus, "Don't worry about him Remmy, he'll come around, he's just shocked. Truthfully, I kind of had a feeling and I had told him a couple of times… he didn't believe me, but I swear he has no problem with it. Don't worry about it," she gave him a third and final hug, "good night boys," and then she was going up the stairs.

Sirius looked up at Remus, and smiled slightly, "Good for you," he whispered, brushing his hand lightly against the other's knuckles.

Remus sighed softly and sunk back to his knees. Things had finally gotten back to normal with Sirius and he was actually happy. Though Remus still woke up in a sweat once in a while when his dreams floated back to the memories of that auspicious afternoon when they had shared the most passionate kiss that Remus' had ever had.

"Thank you Pad… you don't know how much it means to me that you kept that secret for so long. Thank you, you are a good friend," he looked shyly at the handsome teen through his fringe.

Sirius gave his infamous smile and leaned in over the board to hug him. Remus closed his eyes and rested his chin on Sirius' shoulder, softly breathing in the scent on cigarette smoke and shampoo in his soft hair, and he murmured quietly, "You were smoking again."

Sirius chuckled, not letting go of his best friend, "Yeah… my only vice. Sorry."

Moony had no words, why was he apologizing? He had started smoking during his dark days of sixth year and the addiction stuck. There was no reason for him to apologize to Remus for such things. Unless he was apologizing for the actions that lead up to the addiction; in which case Remus was sick of the apologies for something he had long since forgiven.

He pulled the man (for that was what he truly was now) tighter and that was the moment, when Sirius didn't protest but instead sighed softly, Remus felt his broken heart slowly start to mend.

It was only the beginning.

Then suddenly and quite abruptly, Sirius jerked away, "Why don't we go to bed mate?" He stood up and turned his face away from Remus, clearing his throat loudly.

Remus nodded knowing that the moment couldn't have lasted forever in any case, and stood up, putting the fire out with a swish of his wand before going up the stairs, closely followed by Sirius behind him.

He didn't sleep soundly that night.

Over the next couple of weeks, while the rest of the Marauders and Lily sat studying for their NEWTs Sirius was constantly making excuses to be somewhere else. Never looking Remus in the eyes as he muttered something and almost running off in the opposite direction.

"Sounds like girl," Lily sang one sunny Friday afternoon when she, James and him were studying on the beach.

Remus blenched at the words. "What?"

"I agree Lil, he's been sneaking off all secret for a while now. She be pretty great."

"It's good that he's finally trying to have a _relationship_," she smiled dazzlingly at James, and they touches noses. Remus looked away and frowned. Could it be true?

It was. That night at dinner the four came into the great hall to find Sirius already there sitting with a girl they all knew, Jenna Bell. She was a smart girl with many friends in Slytherin, and she often caused trouble in classes. But she was pretty and athletic, as she was on the quidditch team with James and Sirius. Her smile was infectious, genuine and bright. Jenna was a great girl, and nothing like the type Sirius usually went out with.

Remus hated her. He thought it had to have been because she had a smug attitude, or maybe because her eyes were slightly lopsided… but he had a strong suspicion that it may have actually had something to do with the fact her hand intertwined with Sirius, her face was all too close to his and finally, the most painful realization, Sirius had a dark purple spot on his neck, right where his vein was throbbing. A place where only a year before Remus himself had left a mark.

"Well this is certainly interesting," Lily said with a smile as they all sat down.

Jenna smiled at the girl, "Well hello Evans, Lupin, Pettigrew, Potter. How are you?"

"Just fine Miss Bell. How about yourself?" James replied raising an eyebrow at Sirius.

She beamed, "Marvellous thank you."

"When did this start?" Lily asked looking to Sirius.

He smiled, "About two weeks ago, sorry I didn't tell you, we were taking things a little slow," he squeezed the girl's hand.

"Well they musta' sped up a bit, hey mate?" James chuckled motioning to the mark on Sirius' throat, earning an elbow in the side from Lily.

Remus all the while, ate fast and then quickly left, telling everyone that he needed to keep studying because he was awfully behind. He stayed in the library as late as he could, trying ever so hard not to cry out in frustration and pain as his thoughts drifted to the brunette that was occupying herself with _his_ Sirius.

At about four in the morning he finally found himself stalking back up to his dorm into his bed, ignoring Sirius' empty one. He planned to sleep in the next day as late as he could, not wanting to see Sirius and his… merlin forbid _girlfriend_.

The very next day around one in the afternoon he woke up with a start, sitting straight up in his bed, panting heavily as his face dripped with sweat. He had been having the most incredible dream of his best friend, and he was jolted awake by a loud noise. It was like Déjà vu watching as Sirius lead Jenna Bell into the dorm room. Sure, she wasn't some big-boobed, blonde and giggly, but she was definitely not there to study.

"Sirius Black's bed… if only it could talk hey?" she said smiling suggestively and pulling off the sweater she wore, Sirius chuckled and ducked down to kiss her, pushing her back into one of the posters of his bed.

She moaned deeply and Remus was quick to move.

Determined not have a repeat of last time Remus got out of bed cursing loudly and stormed to the bathroom, slamming the door effectively. He splashed cold water on his face and yelled out in frustration. Why wouldn't this feeling just go away? He banged his fist against the mirror and cursed loudly when it shattered, breaking the skin across his knuckles.

Blood dripping from his hands he slid to the floor and let go of the tears he had been holding in for longer than he cared to think about. The love of his life was on the other side of the door with an actual _nice_ girl who he might actually like, and even after his fall out last year Remus was actually _mad_ at him for dating her, even though Sirius was actually trying to be happy for the first time in a while Remus was angry at him.

He groaned and slammed the back of his head against the tiled wall behind him. "Dammit why does this always happen," he muttered, still clutching his bleeding hand close to his chest.

The bathroom door was blasted open then and Moony looked up to see a very angry Sirius storming in. "What in the bloody hell is your problem Lupin?"

Remus brought his knees up to his head, concealing his broken face and bloody fist. "Leave me alone," he mumbled pathetically.

"No way! You could have said something instead of just slamming the flipping door! Jenna thinks you were pissed at her!" He continued to yell, getting closer and closer to the sobbing werewolf, finally he noted his convulsing shoulder and sharp intakes of breath and Sirius softened a bit, crouching down in front of his friend, a few feet in ahead of him. "Remus I'm sorry I didn't check if you were there, I wouldn't have brought her up if I had known."

The crying teen laughed in spite of himself, daring a glance up over his knees at Padfoot. "I wish you hadn't brought her up at all… it just reminds me of last year."

Sirius took a deep breath, lowered his gaze and stood up straight. "Remus this is about the Betty incident isn't it?"

He raised his head sharply. Sirius wasn't supposed to remember anything about that day. Did this mean he remembered the kiss as well? "I don't know what you're talking about," he hissed, pulling his knees in tighter.

"Remus you know exactly what I'm talking about!"

"Shut up!"

"We kissed Moony!"

"Be quiet Black!"

"We kissed and I can never forget about it, I can never ever let go of the feeling I had in that moment. I was so weak and broken and then you were there and we were kissing and I felt better and complete and everything was okay!" His voice was loud, but quaky and with every word he came closer and closer to Moony. "It was the best kiss I've ever had its driving me insane and I don't know what to do! Remus, what should I do?" He was still yelling then and Remus only wished that the bathroom's walls concealed the voice from the common room down stairs.

Sirius was panting, his fisted clenched, eyebrows woven tightly together. He looked like he wanted to beat something. And Remus was at a loss for thoughts. He had no idea what to do with this knowledge. How was he supposed to deal with this? What did it even mean…

He stood up tersely, ignoring the throbbing pain in his hand and the blood that soaked his shirt. All he cared about in that moment was Sirius Black. With one hand he grabbed the collard of the man's shirt and dragged him in, switching their places he pinned the taller man to the bathroom wall. They were chest to chest, thigh to thigh, and all Remus was worrying about was his hope that somewhere buried deep within those grey eyes he would find the passion and longing he yearned for.

"You can do this for starters," Remus muttered in a moment of strength before firmly pressing his lips to Sirius', relishing in the taste of freshly brushed teeth and not alcohol and cigarettes like he remembered so vividly.

Sirius complied almost immediately, trying to gain control in the situation as his tongue battled for the dominance that Remus knew all too well he was bound to hand over some time. But not now, now was the time to show him how angry and pissed he was at the oblivious man before him. He took a moment to rip the shirt from Sirius' shoulders, discarding his bloody one in the process before bringing his lips back to Padfoot's.

Similar to their last encounter Remus began nibbling on the dog's lower lip, caressing it harshly with his teeth, he could hardly withstand the little noises that Sirius was making. They were driving him insane, but he wanted more.

Sirius took the opportunity during Remus' moment of weakness to throw the smaller teen against the wall, swapping their places completely, and forcing his sharp knee in between Moony's legs, enticing a hiss and groan from the werewolf's lips, before he could think Remus found that his hands were pinned firmly above his head, leaving him more exposed than he cared to be.

It was only when Sirius noticed the blood running down Remus' arm that he finally stopped, "What in Merlin's name?" He exclaimed, taking Remus' hand in his own.

There were four cuts, all deep, all flowing and all with pieces of glad ingrained within. He hissed when Sirius dragged him to the sink by the injured hand, and turned the tap on letting warm water fall over it.

"That hurts," he mumbled, still flushed.

Sirius looked Remus in the face and smirked, "Sorry, but you're gunna have to put up with for a minute you git. This could be seriously hurt… and trust me I _know _serious when I see serious."

Lupin had to laugh at the pun and allowed the man to clean the wound, "I need to take you to Madame Pomfrey Remmy, this is looking pretty grim." Remus nodded, wondering if he had dreamed the intimate moment the two had shared only moments ago.

Madame Pomfrey gave him a long lecture, but with a wave of her wand, and a few sprits of mysterious smelling potions he was good as new. No scars to worry about. When they returned the mirror was repaired.

Later that evening Sirius came to the common room where Remus sat with James and Lily looking a little disgruntled. "Well that lasted long," he said as he slumped down on the couch next to them.

"What did?" Lily questioned.

"Jenna."

"Pad you ended things?" James sounded disappointed.

"Yup, whatever though," he looked to Remus who was staring at him wide eyed, "You wanna play a round of wizard's chess?"

For hours they sat there playing game after game, long after the other two had gone to bed, until finally Remus stops the game. "Sirius what's going on?"

The seventeen year old animagus looked up at him, "I don't know. I'm having troubled forming these thoughts in my mind. None of it is working Rem, I don't know what to do about it," he lowered his gaze.

Moony reach up to him, gently touching his cheek, "I need to know what this means," he whispered, hope welling up painfully in his chest.

"I think I'm in love with you Remus Lupin, and I don't know what to do with it."

It was that moment, that _exact_ moment that would forever stay fresh in the mind of said Remus Lupin. It the flickering light of the smouldering coals in the fireplace, the warm malevolent glow gave a sense of foreboding intimacy to the two men. That was the very moment their destined began to intertwine together in a woven mess of love, passion and dark twisted things that the future was sure to hold. Never would they be able to break the ties that Sirius had ultimately placed. They were forever together, even in separation.

"I love you too Sirius Black," he whispered, and then they kissed. Soft and sweet unlike any other. They pressed together in desperation, and need.

They went to bed that night, only a few moments later and they lay on their own beds, staring at each other, and slowly they drifted into a good, restful sleep.

**So another chapter come and gone. What do you think? Yes they are together! Now we get into the rough stuff… be prepared!**


	5. Of Wedding Nights and Beating Hearts

**Disclaimer:**_This is a work of__**fiction**__, a series of images from my own__**twisted mind**__, a story that JK would probably flinch in__**disgust**____at if she were ever to set eyes on it.__**I am sick**__, something I know, and something I embrace. These characters do not belong to me but I will take full responsibility for the__**grotesque thoughts and plots**__that ensue. I apologize in advance for the people I know I will offend._

_This is__**SLASH**__, tender at times but mostly filled with angst. But do not be mistaken every moment, tender, passionate or angsty, sweaty and heated in filled with irrevocable and inconceivable__**love.**_

**The Last Marauder  
****Chapter Five**

**Of Wedding Nights and Beating Hearts**

"James look at this!" Sirius Black's voice boomed over the noise of the gleeful crowd as he thrust a wizard camera up into the air.

Lily and James Potter, looked up from their reception table where they sat drinking red wine, with smiles plastered to their faces as they snuck light kisses here and there when they assumed nobody was looking. But all the same he glanced up at the sound of his best-man's voice, and smiling broadly at the flash of the camera he had to laugh when Lily hollered at him to warn her next time. Not that it mattered, she looked astonishing in her wedding attire. Her simple dress flowed in all the right places and her red hair shone in the light, looking amazing with the elaborate braiding down her back. James, whose unruly hair was starting to spring up from its magically tamed hold, was the luckiest man on the planet. He was married to a beautiful woman and he was surrounded by his loving friends. He could wish for nothing more.

"You wanna sneak off to the loo?" Sirius whispered into an unexpecting Remus' ear, secretly and wishfully as he had been doing all night.

A blush came to Remus' face but he shook his head, "Not now Padfoot, come on sit down the speeches are coming up next," he pulled the dog down beside him and together they listened as the newly widowed Mrs. Potter stood up and talked, followed by Lily's muggle father and then it was Sirius' turn. Moony gave him a reassuring look and he stood up, all attention on him as he held his wine glad tightly in one hand.

"Hi, I'm Sirius Black, the best man. I've known James since my first year, and Merlin we were arrogant little berks. We would walk around the halls with our other halves Peter and Remus acting like we owned the place. Seriously it was bad, and Lily here _hated_ us. I mean secretly she was in love and everything but she made it more than apparent that she despised everything that we did… I mean you know because of a prank we pulled or a rumour we started not to fret though because eventually we grew up… kind of that is…and Lily instead, became a friend. By our fifth year we reached the height of our stupid prank pulling days and James shaped up, trying a new approach with Miss Lily, you know actually _being nice to her_," everyone laughed and Lily nodded at James who just shrugged.

"I went through a dark time our sixth year and well everyone moved on from our trouble making ways, I stayed behind and became worse than the four of us put together… that is until Lily yelled at me and scared the crap out of me so I smarted up. Best thing that I ever did for sure. We were so very close for our seventh year and I was blessed enough to watch these two fawn all over each other… so blessed that I swear I threw up whenever they walked in a room all googly eyed," James took that moment to throw a bun at Sirius' head, the tall man dodged it smiled brightly at him. "And yet I couldn't help but feel the magnetism the two let off. They were just so in _love_ and nothing could ever tear them apart. Seriously, if he-who-must-not-be-named was to walk in here himself and try to blow them apart, he would not succeed. And so I must wrap up, before my steak gets cold," he lifted his glass slightly, "to two of my best friends, that they will live a happy and fulfilling life for many, many years to come. To Mr. and Mrs. James and Lily Potter!" Everyone cheered and drank as James kissed his beautiful bride, whispering a soft nothings into her ear as everyone clinked glasses loudly.

Sirius took his seat beside his secret boyfriend and they clinked glasses as well, their eyes locked on each other, and just and just as discretely as ever Remus mouth, _"I love you,"_ to Sirius, who mouthed it back and then drank from his glass.

Under the table they held hands tightly.

Later, when all the festivities had died down and Lily and James had driven away on a flying motorcycle yelling _"I'm married!"_ into the night sky as loudly as they could. Remus laughed and allowed himself to be dragged to his hotel room by none other than Sirius Black.

"They're so lucky," Remus said pulling his tie over his head and tossing it the floor as he gave an exhausted yawn.

"Yeah, off hitched and well on their way for a happy life. I could never picture a happier couple… you know besides us," Sirius replied helping the smaller man with the buttons on his shirt. Remus sighed happily.

"I wish I could have a wedding like that."

"I hear they allow men to get married to each other over in America," Padfoot's voice was playful and Sirius chuckled.

"So I hear," he pushed his shirt from his shoulders and went to take off Sirius' as well, and tugging his undershirt off with it. He started in on the man's trousers, quick to unbuckle them and push them to the floor.

Padfoot got the sense of what was happening and took Remus' bony fingers in his own, stroking the fleshy part of his palm softly, "Sh, calm down… Remmy we've never…" he trailed off and Remus nodded heatedly his face starting to sweat at the brow. "You want to?" Sirius whispered gently.

Remus shook his head slowly, before muttering, "I need to."

Sirius nodded and let go of his lover's hands, and stepping out of his pants. He helped Remus do to the same, leaving them both in only their boxers, they stood there staring at each other, lust evident in their eyes, somewhere among the hazy clouded ideas of love and adoration. Remus felt tears well up in his eyes as he thought of how happy he truly was, would he ever be as happy his friends Lily and James? Would he get the chance to be as perfect for this man as they were for each other?

His thoughts stopped short as Sirius placed his hands firmly on Remus' chest, once more tracing the scars that were there, marking his skin. His tiny little imperfections, only miniscule compared to his true imperfection, compared to the monster that lurked in his blood, the monster than revealed itself every month. This made Sirius' love for him all the more strong. He lowered his lips to the white marks on his pale skin and Remus shivered involuntarily, "Padfoot," he whispered in slight protest.

Sirius pushed him back, and together they fell on the bed. "Tonight we are going to be one Remus. I've been waiting for so long, please don't make me wait anymore. You said youself… you need me, and I need you," his whispers sent a tremble down Remus' spine, sending all doubtful thoughts straight out of his head.

Remus, in response, leaned up and kissed Sirius. Soft at first but the kiss evolved into a hard battle for dominance, one that Sirius undoubtedly won within minutes. His tongue being much stronger that Moony's trembling one. Remus ran his hands up and down the man's back, stopping to admire the dimples in his lower back, before proceeding to the waistband of his underwear. He moaned quietly sending his lover into a frenzy of similar noises.

Sirius' hands were roaming all the more, tracing all the way down the smaller man's chest, onto the trail of dark hair that led to the secrets that he hid within his only article of clothing. Remus, unable to control himself cupped Sirius gently through the tedious fabric.

Padfoot couldn't help but let out a loud, throaty groan at the much needed touch. "Sirius, please. I need you," Remus whispered to his lover when his hand was pulled away.

Sirius nodded, "I know, calm down. We'll get there, I swear I will love you more than anyone has ever loved another tonight," he whispered calmly.

Remus nodded and allowed Sirius to set the slow pace. The gentle strokes, and hot kisses, the slick, sweat covered chests sliding against each other as Remus flipped them over, leaning over the man as he lay beside him.

Remus looked back down at what was laid out so willingly beside him, drawing his calloused hand down the flat, warm surface of Sirius' pale, and well-muscled chest. Something that the man had spent long hours of quidditch practice regaining after his year of binge drinking. He dragged it downwards, and felt a swelling underneath Sirius' shorts once more. The room smelt of passion, sweat and roses from a nearby bouquet. Sirius let out a moan of yearning, and Remus took that moment to slip Sirius out of the boxers he still wore, leaving him stark naked, panting heavily into Remus' face, looking up at his lover, his dark head of unruly hair fell back onto the soft, satin pillows, his face was flushed, his gray eyes twinkled with desire and need.

Remus couldn't help the captivation of what was now completely shown before him. Dazed and out of control he slowly, enticingly drew his hands up along Sirius' firm length not entirely sure what it was he was doing, but hoping that he was not making any mistakes. Sirius let out another long moan and Remus knew that he was doing something right. He felt his heart tighten at the thought that he could actually give this man such pleasure. Sirius drew his hands behind Remus' neck and drew him closer, guiding him back to his lips and kissing him softly as the man's hands continued their near teasing ministrations.

At this point in time Sirius was holding himself back from pouncing on the smaller man, and had to force himself to instead turn him gently, so he was now leaning over him, and he too removed Remus' undershorts.

It was a feeling that could never be described in the human language; the touching and teasing brought together a flurry of emotions in him, it was such an intimate way that he feared he would never find happiness in anything else ever again. He had dreamed for years about that exact moment, but never had Remus been able to understand how utterly and completely_ real_ it felt. His head was spiralling out of control; he felt so helpless, and yet so secure in the arms of the one he loved so dearly; he never wanted the moment to end as his emotions came undone, spilling over in the form of hot tears along with the husky groan of "_Sirius,"_, which sent Sirius' sense spiralling out of control, he stroked Remus hard, and the man could do nothing but lay there, writhing in defeat as a surge of ecstasy forced a cry from his mouth.

He thoughtlessly whimpered Sirius' name again and again, and, as if by some sort of unspoken agreement, he felt Sirius prod a gentle finger deep inside his most intimate part, attempting to calm his nerves, which were sure to blow over at any moment. Remus writhed with raw emotion at the feverish pleasure that he was receiving. Not one viable thought was able to pass through his brain in that moment.

He put his hand on Sirius' stopping the motions before he let go and lost himself in the moment. "Sirius, please I need you now," he whimpered.

It was a sensation like nothing Remus had ever had the pleasure of feeling before; the full readiness that could never be mirrored in any other couple. He was finally complete, never again would he be so full. The slow movements took his breath away as Sirius gently entered his more than ready body, Moony was positive that he would never be able to let go of the man again. Their bodies, hearts and souls moved in time with each other, like they really had become one, nothing scared Remus anymore, nothing was unknown while he lay in the most intimate of embraces, and yet everything was so startling, every new sense that sparked under Sirius' fingertips and lips, electrifying, new. Padfoot was somehow able to stimulate every sense that was known inside and outside of his body, as though the man on top of him was the one controlling every heartbeat, every breath, and every brainwave. Their pace quickened as once more, a new sensation started building in the pit Remus' stomach and he couldn't help but dig his stubby nails into the sides of his lover's torso, relishing in the feeling of the blood and sweat dripping down onto his chest. Sirius didn't take any notice in the scratches however— instead he moaned deeply, pausing for a moment, unable to breathe properly he leaned down and kissed Remus animatedly.

In that exact instant the dam he had built with muscles, the attempt he had made at trying to keep his emotions from over flowing, all fell down and he felt a rush surge through his heated body as he convulsed in absolute ecstasy, a feeling so foreign and so free that he didn't know what to do about it. His mind raced back to Sirius when he felt the same feelings going through the larger man's body and the strength of their united relief, their mingled freedom mixed with the sticky, sickly sweet smell of sweat and the over powering low, groans, shoved the werewolf into such an intricate mix of unsettling feelings that Remus had no idea how he was ever going to be able to breathe let alone live if Sirius Black wasn't close by his side at every moment in his whole life.

They lay there for a long time, still connected in the most intimate way, still panting, still convulsing in little shivers of pleasure. Sirius then, cautiously pushed himself away, and slipped up to lay heavily beside his lover, he dragged Remus with him, entrapping him in trembling arms, and kissing him softly on the temple. Remus once again had tears running down his cheeks as he shoved his face into the crook of Sirius' neck.

"I love you so much Sirius Black, don't ever let me go."

"I promise," his lover whispered back softly.

They fell asleep like that, completely one, completely together, and completely in love.

But Fate Always Has Its Way.


	6. Of Secret Lies and Happy Tellings

**Disclaimer:**_This is a work of__**fiction**__, a series of images from my own__**twisted mind**__, a story that JK would probably flinch in__**disgust**____at if she were ever to set eyes on it.__**I am sick**__, something I know, and something I embrace. These characters do not belong to me but I will take full responsibility for the__**grotesque thoughts and plots**__that ensue. I apologize in advance for the people I know I will offend._

_This is__**SLASH**__, tender at times but mostly filled with angst. But do not be mistaken every moment, tender, passionate or angsty, sweaty and heated in filled with irrevocable and inconceivable__**love.**_

**The Last Marauder  
****Chapter Six**

**Of Secret Lies and Happy Tellings**

"Lily, lovely as always, though I must say it appears that you got a little fat," Sirius joked when the smiling woman opened the door.

"Yes well blame James for that," she replied giving Remus a hug as he too walked into the Potter's humble abode in Godrick Hollow.

"What's that supposed to mean? He forcing you to stress eat? Damn git he is."

Lily rolled her eyes, "Now, now Sirius don't be so harsh. Lily you look stunning, not fat," she smiled at Remus' remark and thanked him. "Something smells good," he continued with a smile, an arm wrapped around Lily as they walked to the kitchen where James was sitting, writing feverishly on a piece of parchment.

"Thank you Remus, sit down dinner will be done shortly," the man nodded and sat next to James at the table.

"What's up with you mate?" Sirius questioned sitting on Moony's other side.

James looked up, he was obviously stressed out over something. Lily stepped in to stop him from talking but he spoke over her protest, "The Order is being attacked at every turn. Now they say there's a spy among us, _a spy_. They blamed me at first, and did some thorough mind check which I was happy to allow but now they think that I've altered my memories to keep the true spy secret."

"Were you keeping something secret from them Prongs?" Sirius asked leaning across Remus to look James better in the face.

James hesitated, then nodded slowly, "Only what Moony is… but now they think..." he looked to his friend, "Remus I'm sorry but I believe they think you're the spy."

Remus looked at Sirius who had his gaze fixated on him. It wasn't true of course, he would never in a million years be a spy for Voldemort. He was one of the ones who fought against him at all costs, but Sirius who had been going slightly nutty over the past year was sure to be suspicious just as he had been of James when everyone assumed it was him. Sirius was determined to keep the Order safe and secret, to keep Voldemort from creeping into the Order's actions, from knowing the valuable information they stored within. And as his family got deeper and deeper into the meddling's of the death eaters Remus saw that his lover was slowly starting to go mad with all the speculations on who did what.

But was it enough to drive him against the man he was so devoted to?

Remus knew that in those dark times, in the middle of a Wizarding War such as that one, anyone was liable to turn on anyone.

"Well that's kind of silly, I'll just tell them what I am," Remus remarked, laughing effortlessly, and yet feeling quite uneasy.

James shook his head, "No, no you can't. It'll make matters worse."

"Let's not dwindle on this tonight alright? It's Christmas, liven up a little," she gave the three all a glass of wine and the she had herself a mug of tea. "Cheers to family," she held up her mug.

Remus held up his, "To new beginings."

Sirius, slowly, still looking at Remus, "To truth."

And finally James with, "To a happy Christmas," they all cheered and tapped drinks before taking a mouthful each.

The food on the table brought the lively, cheerful feeling back into the dinner and they laughed and talked of nonsense things that had no real meaning, starting out as small talk about Peter's recent constant absence, and before long the conversation drifted to a place that Lily had been ecstatic for all week.

"Look guys there's something James and I wish to tell you," she smiled and took her husband's hand.

James' face lit up as he squeezed her hand in reply, "Yeah, something we are so excited about."

"Are you two moving London to be closer to us? Oh how sweet, but you really didn't have to, we don't mind coming all this way to visit," Sirius said with a smile.

"Shut it Pad I wanna hear this. Well, what is it you two?"

With a huge smile seemingly glued to her face Lily said, "We are going to have baby."

The quiet was deafening for almost a whole minute before Sirius Black jumped up whooping loudly and pumping his fists vigorously. "Right on! I have been waiting and waiting! Yes! You did it James you knocked her up!" He whooped some more pulling his best friend and his wife for a hug, as Remus sat there smiling happily.

James soon joined in on Sirius' apparent interpretive dance, and Remus stole James' seat, pulling Lily in for a hug. He was so happy for the woman. She was one of the kindest, most beautiful creatures he had ever come across, and she deserved everything she ever got. Every bit of happiness that James was able to give her. For she had helped Remus in so many ways, explained to him things about his _issue_ in ways that he had never before heard. She was full heartedly helpful and never ceased to let anyone down. She deserved to be a mother, and her child more than definitely deserved to be raised by such a magnificent mother.

"So if it's a boy are naming it after me, right mate?" Sirius said waggling his eyebrows at James when they had finally settled down a bit.

James shook his head and laughed, "No sorry but if it's a boy he's being named after me."

"Arrogant wanker," Sirius replied chugging the rest of his wine. The four laughed and Lily shook her head.

"Well if you would like, we could name it after you if he's a girl," she said with a smirk.

At this Remus burst out laughing, "You're so sure it's a boy Lily dearest?"

"Rem, I've never been surer of anything in my life."

"Well alright fine, if the lad doesn't get my name at least let me be the one to teach him how to fly!" Padfoot's exclamation once more made everyone laugh.

"When he's old enough you may teach him the whole game of quidditch if you wish. But for now he remains safe where neither of you," she motioned to James and Sirius, who now sat side-by-side, "can get at him."

The two started laughing as she and Remus cleared the table. "You know the Weasley's are having another kid too," he commented.

Sirius snorted, "What else is new? Their always having kids. How many have they got now, seven? Eight?"

"I believe this will be their fifth," Lily replied as she set their desert on the table for all to share. "Wouldn't that be something James?"

James coughed on his wine and Sirius had to pat him on the back, "Mate breathe, it takes a long time to conjure up that many. And besides it's the _conjuring_ that makes it fun anyways isn't? Am I right?" He winked at Remus who blushed hotly.

He turned his face hoping to conceal his coloured cheeks from the other two in the room, who to this day knew nothing of the secret relationship he had with the man. "Shut it, you git," James laughed pushing Sirius away.

Sirius sat back beside his lover, his eyes still laughing, his face still smiling, always smiling. Little did he know, little did any of them know, that it would only be a matter of time before the so-called Dark Lord would work his power and turn them all on each other, lover against lover, brother against brother.

But for now he remained smiling. Always smiling.

_**(time lapse cuz stupid line duz not work la la la)**_

"There's an owl at the window," Remus said tiredly as he lay naked in bed with his lover after a very good morning wake up on a cool March morning.

Sirius glance over towards the window where there was in fact an owl waiting to be let in. He hurriedly jumped up, tugging on his pajama bottoms and let it in, taking the letter it had and reading it over. "What is it Sirius?"

He glanced back and shook his head, "Nothing important Remmy, get up and get dressed we'll be late for work." He ripped the letter up in small pieces and threw it out the window.

Remus sighed heavily, this wasn't the first time this week Sirius had given him the same curt words, and truthfully he was getting sick of it. "Is it from Peter again?"

At this Sirius threw him a pointed glance, "How in the hell did you know about that?"

Remus stood up, pulling on some pants, "I don't understand what you're hiding from me Sirius, you never used to hide things from me."

"That was before I knew the Order was suspicious of you," he heard Sirius mumble, but never got the chance to retaliate as the man grabbed his clothes and briskly walked to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.

Remus turned to the open window and lifted his wand, _"Accio letter,"_ he whispered and the pieces came flying at him. He repaired them quickly and read the letter hastily.

_Dear Sirius,_

_I know you don't want to believe it to be true, but it seems that there is no other person who we can blame. James and Lily deny us the chance to see the truth, and you know nothing of it. Peter is the only one who has complied with complete honesty in the matter. He confirmed our previous disbelief, that it is in fact Remus Lupin who is revealing important information to he-who-must-not-be-named. We know this is hard to hear, but please don't panic, act as normal as possible. He mustn't know that we have figured him out. Not yet. Do not let him read this letter either. _

_Yours sincerely,_

_Fabion Prewett_

Remus gave another heavy sigh trying to stop himself from crying. This couldn't be happening. Why had Peter said such things? Why was Sirius believing them? Was the war really making him so mad that he could actually not trust Remus? None of it made sense.

Everything was falling apart and he had no idea how to fix any of it.

Later that evening at an Order of the Phoenix meeting while Remus sat looking for James and Lily, Dumbledore made an announcement, one that started all.

"Voldemort has indeed a spy within this very room tonight, though he do not know who it is, nor do we think shall we ever. Not until it is too late that is. So I would just like to caution you all, but just know that turning on each other would be our undoing. Just know that from this point on, all important information will be told me and me only, and then I shall decide who must be informed. Now you may proceed with tonight's notions," he gestured to Frank Longbottom, who was surprisingly without his wife Alice for once.

The meeting came to a close and Remus was left alone, only then realizing that none of his friends had shown up. He felt like a stranger in the one place that he really ever felt at home.

That night though in Godric's Hollow you could find the Potters and Sirius Black speaking in their enchantment filled kitchen of a secret that they had been trying to keep for a while, one that would be their death if it were ever to be revealed. For Lord Voldemort had his eye set on the unborn child within Lily, and once he got to them there would be no stopping him.

"Sirius we trust you more than anyone," James said, his arm securely around his heavily pregnant wife, who sat stroking her swollen belly.

"James I know you do, don't worry I'll keep you safe," he took Lily's hand in his own.

Lily let a tear slip from her green eyes, "Thank you Sirius, we know how much being a secret-keeper is a threat on your life."

He looked them both in the eyes and said in a firm, unwavering voice, "I would rather die than betray my friends."

**So there you have it! Sirius is all pissy at Lupin and his madness is beginning! OH NOEZ anywho, stay in tuned another chapter shall be up soon I promise! Love you all! Thanks for Reading! And PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEWWW**

**PS. In the chapter a new-ish character shall be in it! THE ONE! THE ONLYYYYY!... BABY HARRRRYYYY XD awwwe so cutteeee**


	7. Of Birthday Parties and Sensual Fights

**Disclaimer:**_This is a work of__**fiction**__, a series of images from my own__**twisted mind**__, a story that JK would probably flinch in__**disgust**____at if she were ever to set eyes on it.__**I am sick**__, something I know, and something I embrace. These characters do not belong to me but I will take full responsibility for the__**grotesque thoughts and plots**__that ensue. I apologize in advance for the people I know I will offend._

_This is__**SLASH**__, tender at times but mostly filled with angst. But do not be mistaken every moment, tender, passionate or angsty, sweaty and heated in filled with irrevocable and inconceivable__**love.**_

**The Last Marauder  
****Chapter Seven**

**Of Birthday Parties and Sensual Fights**

"Happy birthday dear Harry, happy birthday to you," the child's parents on either side of him blew out the candles floating inches above the cake and Harry laughed gleefully, clapping his hands together. It was a warm summer day, bright and shiny and happy, going well with the joyous occasion, as it was none other than Harry Potter's first birthday.

Remus sat awkwardly between Peter and Sirius who was all too into the muggle birthday song that Lily had insisted on. "Happy birthday baby," she whispered kissing her son on the head.

Though their moods were all jubilant Remus sat, feeling like an outsider in the home of Lily and James Potter. They had long since stopped informing him on anything involving the Order, and Sirius had long since stopped talking to him completely. He was still the spy to them, the traitor of the pack. He wondered when they would stop accepting them into their home completely.

"Present time!" Lily exclaimed when they had all finished their homemade cake.

Sirius immediately jumped up, "He is going to love mine!"

Lily laughed as Sirius stole the baby from his high chair and brought him into the living room, Wormtail and Prongs following close behind. Remus helped Lily clean up as they heard James exclaiming happily and Harry squealing in delight.

"Thank you Remus," Lily said as he finished wiping down the kitchen table. She lay a hand softly on his shoulder, "You know that James and I don't believe a word of it right?"

The werewolf looked to his friend with hopeful eyes, "You don't?"

She shook her head, "No, of course we don't. It's just that we've been going through some things lately that we haven't really been able to share with anyone. I really hope that you can understand this Remus."

He nodded solemnly, so it wasn't only he that was being kept in the dark? "I only wish Sirius would come to his senses about this all as well," he muttered.

"Remus, I know you think I don't know… but I do. Don't worry, James has no idea, but I've known since graduation," she was rambling on so Remus took her hands.

"What is it Lily?"

Her emerald eyes pressed deep into his, "I know that Sirius loves you, I can tell. He hasn't lost his hope in you, but rather everyone else."

Remus swallowed loudly, "You know about Sirius and I?"

She nodded, "Yes Remus I have known for a long time. I saw how happy you two were, and I'd know the look of love from anywhere. It's something that you can never let go of. Sirius is having trouble with this war. It's warping his thoughts as I am sure you can see. His love for you and his devotion to his friends is the only thing keeping him sane at the moment. Don't let him go Remus, he is someone you can trust, and that is saying something in these times."

Remus nodded, tears in his eyes, "Only it seems that he trusts Peter more than I these days."

She shook her head, "Don't believe a word of it Remus, he has more trust in you than you know, maybe even more than he knows."

"Lily you've got to see this! He's a natural, he's gonna be famous when he's older!" James' laughing voice sounded from the living room and Lily release Remus, leading the way to the living room where Harry was zipping around on a small toy broom, giggling and laughing, "Mumma look! Mumma look!"

"I see Harry, be careful," she laughed, wrapping her arms around her husband.

Remus joined in with the laughter looking to Sirius who sat on the couch opposite to him. An expression that Remus hadn't seen in a very long time was set firm upon his face, and when he caught his lover's eye, for the first time in months he smiled. "Isn't he great Remmy?"

Remus nodded, "The best Padfoot."

_**(time lapse cuz stupid line duz not work la la la)**_

"Damn Rem, what in the hell was that?" Sirius asked, trying with all his might to catch his breath. He lay flat on his stomach, stark naked and glistening with sweat from head to toe. Still quivering in pleasure, and aching all over, hands printed bruised into his hips.

Moony on the other hand was kneeling behind him where he had previously been pleasuring his lover from behind, something that he had never done until that night when they had come home and Remus was particularly mad about the loss of words and the blank, neutral face that Sirius seemed to have when Remus had told him that he loved him.

It had started in the kitchen, where Remus had thrown his over the table, standing behind his, biting his neck with Sirius writhed beneath him. "It's my turn Padfoot, you understand?" he growled and Sirius nodded vigorously.

It moved up the stairs slowly, stopping every couple of steps to remove another article of clothing, before finally ending up in the bedroom where Remus threw Sirius to the bed, before getting behind him, grabbing his hair and pulling his back against Remus' chest.

He shagged him there, no love was involved, it was cold and hard and the best thing Remus had ever felt, he loved having control over Sirius' pleasure, loved knowing that it was up to him whether he would get release or not, and Remus had come very close to denying him of that.

In the end though his senses came rushing back and he slowed down enough to planted light kissed down Sirius' spine as together they convulsed in pure pleasure, and Sirius was left whispering, "I love you Remus, I love you so much," over and over again.

Finally Remus unwrapped his arms from around the dog's waist and allowed the man to slump from his weak knees to his stomach on the soft bed, breathing in shaky breaths, his eyes twitching.

It was all Remus wanted was to hear those three words one that he missed so much again. And then there was once more, crying deeply, kneeling behind the man whom he loved so much it hurt.

After a few moments Sirius flipped over to gaze at him, "Remus," he said softly, taking his lover's hands and pulling him down onto his chest, and engulfing him in a warm, passionate embrace. "Sh, stop crying. I love you, I promised you remember? I won't break my promise, ever. I love you Remmy, so much."

"You love me, but you don't trust me," he replied in a hushed voice.

Sirius shook his head squeezing the man closer to himself, as if he trying to swallow him whole. "Remus, I trust you more than most. It is me that I do not trust. Myself."

"Why would you not trust yourself?"

"My family is made up of many bad people Remus… and I fear that I may fall into their madness yet," he was shivering, but not from the cold.

"Don't say that Sirius, you are a good, kind man. You would never betray your friends or the Order. You have too much love inside of you to ever do such a thing. Sirius you must trut yourself, for I fear a time is coming upon us that we will have no one to trust but ourselves. Please don't let Voldemort and his weakling army intimidate you."

"It's making me go insane Moony," he was silenced with a kiss.

"Whatever it is that's driving to this mental state, you need to put a stop to it before it's too late and you really do switch sides. Now shut up and go to sleep."

Gray eyes met brown ones and Sirius nodded, "Thank you Remus," and then they slept.

In the early morning while Moony still slept soundly in his bed, dreaming of his friend's one year old son flying around on a real broomstick, Sirius Black got up and sent urgent letters to none other than Peter Pettigrew, and the Potters for a meeting of utter importance, and not an hour later he was in their kitchen with the Lily and James, awaiting the arrival of Peter.

"Sirius, this is bloody mental!" James exclaimed

He shook his head forcefully, "No James, I am quite afraid that it is not. It is only what is completely necessary to keep you two and Harry safe from the clutches of pure malevolence that is just lurking around every corner waiting for me to slip up. I can't stand it, I'm sorry that I've failed you so, but it's what is driving me mad," he slumped into one of their kitchen table chairs and put his head in his hands.

Lily lay a hand on him, trying to comfort him. That's how Peter found them when he was there with a loud _poof_, "What's going on?" he asked in a stutter. He had been acting more strange that was usual for the rat, but unfortunately all of them had just summed it up to the same fear that was evident in every member of the Order.

Sirius looked to James and Lily in turn, and they both nodded softly, "Peter I'm sorry to hand you this burden but it is something is much needed and will be much appreciated…" over the course of the next hour Sirius proceeded to make the biggest mistake he had even made, one that he would regret until the day he died, as it was one of the last thoughts that passed through his mind as he fell through that mysterious curtain… though of course that was yet to come.

By the end of it Sirius had no memory of the prophecy, he was blissfully ignorant while Peter now bore the torch that would ultimately be his friend's undoing.

By this time Remus had also woken up, exhaling loudly when he spotted the empty spot next to him on the mattress. It wasn't even warm. "Good morning to me," he mumbled, throwing his arm over his face. The rough loving he had given the night before had gone unnoted.

"You're _still_ in bed?" Sirius' voice came from the doorway.

Moony sat up straight, looking the man in the eye, a smile slowly forming, "Yeah… last night tired ne out pretty bad."

Sirius laughed and stood at the foot of the bed, Remus knelt in front of him, wrapping his arms around his neck. Sirius laughed, "I think I'm the one that should be tired, and I'll have you know I have bruises in places I don't think there shouldn't be bruises," he whispered, leaned forward and pressed a firm kiss to Remus' lips. "Thanks for your advice."

Remus shook his head, "It was all you Pad, you can't thank me for fixing something that I know nothing about."

"I know, and I'm sorry that I couldn't tell you… and I'm even more sorry that I still can't because I kind of got it… erased… from my mind," he stumbled over his words trying to recall what it was that he had been so desperate to forget only minutes before.

Remus shook his head once more, resting his forehead against his lover's, and brushing the man's long, dark hair from his face he kissed him soundly. "I don't care, as long as I can have my best friend back."

Sirius nodded pulling him in closer and kissing back, "I love you Remus."

"And I love you."

The two spent again half an hour making up before they got ready for work, ready to do a job that the Order had asked Sirius to do the day before, telling him to pick someone that he trusted to help him out with it, and Remus, who had not gone on any missions in weeks, was excited to go along with him, even if was just to check out the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts, as Dumbledore was slightly worried about his judgment on that years pick.

The air was brisk as they stepped outside, it being mid-October, they feared that snow would soon fall over London, and could only pray that they would have few more months without the cold winds and sleet.

Though of course, being mid-October, the fates were coming fast upon the last Marauder, unbeknownst to him and the rest of his friends. His days of bliss were coming to a close and he would be soon be stuck in an endless world of horror and pain. In a only a couple of short weeks he would be completely, and utterly loveless.

**0-0-0-0-0**

**So There you have it guys! And I feel that a DUN DUN DUUUUUN is sufficient here? Yeah? Okay… DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNN N!**

**ANYWHO: next chapter might be mostly in Sirius' point of view… any qualms to this? None? Okay, UNTIL NEXT TIME MY LOVELIES! **


	8. Of Closed Off Minds and Tragic Deaths

**Disclaimer:**_This is a work of__**fiction**__, a series of images from my own__**twisted mind**__, a story that JK would probably flinch in__**disgust**____at if she were ever to set eyes on it.__**I am sick**__, something I know, and something I embrace. These characters do not belong to me but I will take full responsibility for the__**grotesque thoughts and plots**__that ensue. I apologize in advance for the people I know I will offend._

_This is__**SLASH**__, tender at times but mostly filled with angst. But do not be mistaken every moment, tender, passionate or angsty, sweaty and heated in filled with irrevocable and inconceivable__**love.**_

**The Last Marauder  
****Chapter Eight**

**Of Closed Off Minds and Tragic Deaths**

"Sirius, you're doing it again," Remus fumed from the doorway of Sirius' enchanted study room.

"Doing what love?"

"Keeping me in the dark," he replied in a calm, even voice.

On the early morning of October thirty-first it was surprisingly warm, as the sun had come out and the rain clouds had cleared. Remus was happy with the weather, hoping it was a sign that something good was bound to happen to him soon. Though of course as his luck had it, it meant quite the contrary; because as the sun shined bright and the children played happily a certain you-know-who was in the process of kidnapping none other than Peter Pettigrew, a cowardly man from the Order who would skitter at any little noise., and was just as unlikely, the secret-keeper of Lily and James Potter; Remus Lupin all the while just relished in the joy of the beautiful day.

That was until a letter came for Sirius. Another mysterious one that he would never know the contents of, for not only had his lover found a way to stop any unwanted readers from reading the important letters he had also placed enchantments to keep everyone who wasn't himself from his study.

"No, no Remus it's nothing, just go get ready I'll be right out," Sirius' voice was rough as it had constantly been over the past two weeks.

Moony wasn't entirely sure what was happening to his lover, but it seemed that the relief they had felt from his cured madness was short lived, for once again he was always paranoid and twitching, checking around every corner as if he was just expecting Voldemort himself to jump out and attack him on the spot. Remus couldn't help but mourn over the fact that he was once more losing the one he loved the most, and there was truly nothing that he or anybody else could do about it. It would remain this way as long as Voldemort was alive. Ironically enough, that would only be one more, short day. Talk about speaking too soon.

All the same Moony left Padfoot alone and went up their room to get dressed, they had made love the night before, the first time in a long time, and in the passionate actions he saw the true Sirius in those familiar grey eyes. He able to forget that things had changed so drastically.

He let out a long sigh, tied his tie and went downstairs where Sirius waited for him dutifully at the front door. "Ready Moony?" He wore his infamous charming smile, his brilliantly white teeth shining brightly, tightening Remus' heart.

Lupin nodded and they were out the door.

**(TIME LAPSE)**

**Sirius' Point Of View**

That night, at around ten o'clock Sirius Black was frantically pacing in his living room, unable to comprehend what may be happening at that moment. All day he had been sending letter after letter to Peter trying to get word of him. And all day he had been ignored.

He couldn't remember what it was that he had trusted Peter with so wholly, all he knew was that it was one of the most important things that Sirius Black had ever forgotten. He was panicking, not sure what do with himself, going mad with frustration, grief and regret.

Then it hit him. In a sudden rush of light Sirius remembered what it was that he had passed on to Peter. The prophecy destined to kill the son of his friends, the one that they had all been so set on keeping secret that they had even gone so far as to use the fidelius charm on him, binding not only his mind to the secret, but his literal soul. He couldn't take it, the reminders of being a member of the Black family followed him everywhere he went and he feared that he would only betray his friends, and so he passed it on to who he thought he trusted most in the Order, Peter Pettigrew.

He realized then that he was wrong. The fact that he remembered all of this proved just how wrong he had been, as it meant that Peter had broken his binding to the secret… and his friends, Lily and James may already be dead.

Not stopping to grab a jacket or even to wake his sleeping love he ran outside and hopped onto his enchanted motorbike, not caring if any muggle saw him and he sped off into the night sky, just hoping it wasn't too late.

The first thing he noticed about the street in Goddrick Hollow was the dead calm. The second was the dark mark that hung heavily in the sky above the house. A skull with a snake slithering through it. He blenched, his heart pounding in his ears.

In slow, staggering movements he rushed into the house. He found James Potter first, lying on the floor at the foot of the stairs, his wand hanging loosely from his limp hand, his brown eyes still wide with evident fear.

"James," he gasped, dropping to his knees and bringing his best friend's heavy head into his lap, "I'm so sorry I failed you," he couldn't breathe, a lump in his throat was stopping him from doing so. He could only sit there and stare, with tight lips, at James' disappointed face, the color leaving his cheeks more and more every moment.

He had failed the small, perfect family. It was all his fault and now not only the blood of the two loving parents, was on his hands, but of the small, helpless baby Harry as well. Not to mention the countless people that were now free to be killed as Voldemort and his army of death eaters saw fit.

A tear finally escaped his eye when a small sound came to his ears, giving his heavy heart an immediate sense of hope, that he was quick to dispose of, in fear that it was false. But the wail came again, more desperate now and Sirius was up, placing James' head gently to the floor, he bounded up the stairs and down the hall.

Lily was laying on the beige carpet, her face stuck in a mid-scream, a lamp broken beside her, and a mysterious black cloak a few feet away. Sirius' slowed at the sight of the beautiful woman, and he knelt down to her as he had James, closing her eyes and her mouth, placing her strewn out arms delicately on her stomach, "Lily, darling I am sorry," he whispered.

The baby's cries were louder now, and Sirius, still on his knees, turned to his godson and peered at him through the bars of the crib. His forehead was bleeding but otherwise he was left unscathed. At the sight of the man he even stopped crying and shoved a chubby hand between the bars, his big, green eyes peering straight into Sirius, questioning him. "Harry," Sirius cried softly, letting the child stroke his face.

At the sound of a loud bang from downstairs he quickly stood up in front of the crib, his wand at ready. He would do whatever it took to protect the legacy of James and Lily, even if it meant dying. He wouldn't let them down, not again.

A wail of remorse was heard from a familiar voice and Sirius calmed down a bit, trying to remember as lumbering heavy steps full on the floor. He could see the huge shadow of a man at the end of the hall and only then did he lower his wand and take a breath. Only Rubeus Hagrid, sobbing like a child as he carefully walked down the hall.

Harry cried out again, and this time Sirius turned to him and brought him up from the crib, cradling him close, as to not let him see his mother's body on the floor. "Sh, you're alright. I won't let anything happen to you Harry, I promise."

"Who's there?" Hagrid's voice shook, and he lifted a pink umbrella at Padfoot.

Sirius looked at him with sad eyes that had finally broken down leaving his cheeks swimming in wet, salty tears that fell silently onto the baby's head. "It's me Hagrid. It's Sirius Black. Why are you here?"

Hagrid lowered his umbrella and looked over the man, once so strong and now completely broken, "I've come to take the baby… Dumbledore's orders," he responded, only then catching the sight of Lily's still figure. "Oh no…" he whispered, shaking with another heart wracking sob.

Sirius shook his head, "I am Harry's godfather. I won't be letting him go anywhere," his voice was slurred, disrupted by his shaking shoulders and unsteady breathing that was more like consecutive gasping. "I won't let him go, not now," he hugged Harry tighter, and the baby protested with a small cry.

"I'm sorry Sirius, I really am but Dumbledore says it's best for Harry to go and live with his muggle aunt and uncle on Private Drive," the monster of a man was obviously trying really hard not to look down to the floor where the woman lay at his feet.

"Why?" Sirius demanded, his voice pleading.

"He survived the killing curse, he _killed _you-know-who,he'll be famous. Sirius, no child deserves to grow up being gawked at where ever he goes. Not to mention the Death Eaters that will be trying to hunt him down. Right now it's better if he lives a muggle life. You can understand can't you?"

He was right, Sirius knew. Harry had defied all odds on two accounts and no witch or wizard would ever let him forget it, but he was a wizard and dammnit he needed to be raised as such, "He can't go his whole life never knowing where he came from."

"Now come on, you know Dumbledore better than that. He'll go to Hogwarts when it's time, just like all the other kid in our world. He'll be going to school with Frank and Alice's son, and the Weasley's new boy, and the children of a lot of our other friends, Sirius. And you can't forget that Dumbledore will be there too. Harry will know exactly who he is, exactly where he came from, _no matter what_. He'll probably be reading about it in his text books too. Come now Sirius, don't fret, you'll see him again, and who knows maybe when he's old enough he can actually go to live with you as well. You never know," Hagrid was comforting him now, a well weighted palm set firmly on Sirius' shaking shoulders.

Sirius could only nod as he looked down at the boy, smiling gently. "Paddy," Harry said with a goofy, toothless grin, once more touching the man's face.

Sirius nodded, meeting what could only be described as Lily's eyes "That's right Harry, Paddy," and then he kissed the boys bleeding brow and whispered, "I promise we'll meet again, I won't ever leave you alone," before passing the baby to Hagrid who wrapped him up tightly in a blanket.

"Thank you Sirius, it's really for the better."

He nodded, but then his mind drifted to somewhere else. A dark place full of anger and hate for the only man who must have given up the secret he was supposed to hold so dear, the man who had ruined everything, the damned rat who had no reason to be living in this world when he had been the reason that Sirius' best friends lay dead on their own floor, and their son was being whisked away by a Hogwarts drop out to go and grow up with _muggles_.

"Hagrid wait," Sirius' voice turned to poison as he stopped the man.

"What is it?" Hagrid was more stable now that they were in the front yard away from the lifeless beings back in the house.

Sirius tossed the keys to the flying bike into the half-giants large hand, "Take this, I don't need it where I'm going," and then, with a final glimpse of his beloved godson, he apparated from that very spot and landed in a dark alley, the sidewalk beside him busy with oblivious children, who were bustling around trick or treating, smiling and laughing.

Sirius spotted Peter immediately. The man was walking slowly towards his house, limping, and quivering. He had obviously been tortured. Sirius felt no remorse for him. Not when his friends were dead.

"Wormtail!" He hollered stepping into sight.

The rat turned to him before squealing and trying to move faster. At this point a few people were looking at Sirius, the apparent madman. He didn't care, instead he lunged forward, grabbing Peter by the back the neck and flung him against the brick wall beside the sidewalk.

"Do you know what you've done? Do you? They have_ died_ Peter, they're gone! And _you_ killed them, because of you their son will grow up _alone_, with his _muggle_ aunt and uncle. Do you have no pride? No love? No courage you cowardly _rat?"_

Peter threw a weak punch at Sirius who dodged it with a smirk, and he started laughing, for the life of him he couldn't figure out why, but it was a fatal mistake for Peter broke free at once, apparently faking his earlier injuries as he pushed his long-time friend out of the way, he ran. Sirius raised his wand, earning skeptical glasses from many parents on the street as they ushered their children away from the scene.

Peter also raised his wand, muttering a spell that sent one of his pinkies spiralling to the ground in a bloody mess. Sirius only stared, confused as the man screamed out in pain, clutching his hand close to his chest, and then in a loud, clear voice, more full of determination that Sirius had ever heard from the man, he yelled "Confringo!"

A great blast blew Sirius into the air, and as he soared he felt as if time itself had slowed down. Debris flew into all directions as a crater was created in the middle of the street. The distorted screams of small children, and the mangled bodies of muggles slammed against the ground, blood flowed and Sirius had no hearing. Only disoriented images passed over his eyes, among them was Peter waving good-bye, before turning into a rat and scurrying off out of sight.

And then everything went black.


	9. Of Death and Betrayal

**Disclaimer:**_This is a work of__**fiction**__, a series of images from my own__**twisted mind**__, a story that JK would probably flinch in__**disgust**____at if she were ever to set eyes on it.__**I am sick**__, something I know, and something I embrace. These characters do not belong to me but I will take full responsibility for the__**grotesque thoughts and plots**__that ensue. I apologize in advance for the people I know I will offend._

_This is __**SLASH**__, tender at times but mostly filled with angst. But do not be mistaken every moment, tender, passionate or angsty, sweaty and heated in filled with irrevocable and inconceivable__**love.**_

**The Last Marauder  
****Chapter Nine**

**Of Death and Betrayal**

Remus awoke to his life in disarray. The first thing he noticed was Sirius' absence. The second was that there were six owls waiting at three of his windows around the house. The third was the incessant knocking at his front door.

He dealt with the owls, and then when he opened the door Alastor Moody was standing there grunting, "Took you long enough," his voice was as hard as it usually was but his face seemed a lot more grim than usual.

Remus momentarily found himself wondering if the Order had finally decided that he was actually a threat and had sent Mad Eye to collect him before they disposed of him. How did the Order go about such things? A curse to erase his memories? A one way ticket to Azkaban? Both? He shuddered at the thought of being stuck in Azkaban with no memory of why he was even there in the first place.

Mad Eye let himself in, lumbering through the small house foray and into the living room where he situated himself in the center of the love seat, motioning to the fluffy chair across from him. "Sit," he ordered.

Remus did so and realized he should be polite, even if he was there to take him away, so he asked, "Do you want coffee or anything?" but he was ignored.

He watched as the man gave a long, heavy sigh, adjusting his magical eye. "Look Lupin there is no easy way to say this, because no matter how I say it, it will forever remain a tragedy, one that will never be forgotten by the Wizarding world. In fact Dumbledore is already in the process of incorporating it into the curriculum at Hogwarts."

"What's going on?"

"I will start with the good news first, just because people have a tendency to have a better time dealing with bad news if they about know the good that came from it, however little good that may be," he glanced at Moony who was now staring quite intensely, trying to remember if Sirius had said anything the night before about his whereabouts that morning, but his thoughts dropped right from his mind at Moody's next statement: "Voldemort is dead."

At this Remus was on his feet, "What, how?" His voice was raised, nearly yelling and his blood boiled, with excited or fear he could not tell.

"That's where the tragedy comes in Remus. Sit," he sat down slowly. "It's true, the wizarding war is over, no more will the Order have to fight. We are now in the process of rounding up known death eaters. We're already preparing to collect the ones that we are sure of, like the Lestranges, Karkaroff, Rosier, and maybe even the Malfoys."

Remus shook his head, confused, "This is great news, it's actually some of the best news I've ever heard in my entire life. Everything will be better now, it's all going to change; and it will be because the Order did what we set out to do… why is it such a tragedy?"

Moody shifted in his seat, "First of all it wasn't exactly our triumph… but all the same it came at a price," his voice was low.

"What price?" Rumus' blood turned icy. Where was Sirius? Where had he gone?

"I'm not sure if you know this but the Potter's son, Harry, was prophesized to be the one with the ability to kill Voldemort, and when the bastard found out he immediately targeted the boy. They used the Fidelius Charm to protect themselves, and keep their whereabouts a secret but it seems that their trusted secret-keeper gave his information over to Voldemort..." he trailed off looking the shocked Remus in the eyes. "The Potters were murdered Lupin, I'm sorry."

Moony felt a constriction on his chest and he had to stand to stop himself from falling from the chair from lack of air. Murdered? His friends had been killed… it couldn't be true. This had to be some sort of prank, it couldn't be happening. Who had their secret-keep been? Who had given them up to Voldemort? He knew the answer. Sirius. _ No! He would never…_ his thoughts stopped short remembering how the man had been going insane again… had it driven him to this?

"Who was their secret-keeper," he mumbled all the same. Needing to hear it for himself.

"Sirius Black," Moody's voice was full of spite as he growled the name. "And to make matter worse once the damage was done Peter Pettigrew went to find him to confront him and that man blew him up! Not only did he kill the Potters, he killed Pettigrew and twelve innocent muggles!"

"Enough!" Remus yelled not able to see straight, as tears came forth from the anger and betrayal that surged through him. "I get it!"

Mad Eye stood, and went to Remus, setting a hand on his shoulder, "There's more Lupin."

He groaned, "What more could there possibly be? My friends are _all_ dead, James, Lily, Peter and even little Harry, and my best friend was the one who was responsible for their deaths. Now what could you possibly say to add to this? Has Sirius also gone to Hogwarts and blown up the place? Has he joined forces with the Death Eaters and is now preforming dark magic on school children? What?!"

"Harry Potter is alive Remus. He was struck with the killing curse… but he lived. He is the one that killed Voldemort, just like the prophecy said. He is the chosen one. He's the boy who lived."

Remus blinked, it was impossible, no one survives the killing curse, certainly not when it is Voldemort himself delivering it. How was that even remotely possible? It could have been a ploy, a trick Voldemort had to be playing. But there was no way around it, the boy lived and his parents were dead.

"Remus?" Moody said, obviously not the first time.

Lupin looked at the man, "What can I do to help?"

"There's plenty to be done, I'm sure we can find something. Go get dressed and then we'll go," Remus nodded, looking at his pajamas.

_Peter, James, Sirius. All gone, no long Marauders… I am all that left. I am the last marauder. _

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**So sorry for the short chapter! The next will be up soon!**

**So change of plans this will DEFINITELY be following the books… but I haven't decided if I want to end it a little bit after Sirius' death or after Remus' death. Any thoughts? Feedback would be much appreciated! Thanks for reading!**


	10. Of Train Rides and Broken Dreams

**Disclaimer:**_This is a work of__**fiction**__, a series of images from my own__**twisted mind**__, a story that JK would probably flinch in__**disgust**____at if she were ever to set eyes on it.__**I am sick**__, something I know, and something I embrace. These characters do not belong to me but I will take full responsibility for the__**grotesque thoughts and plots**__that ensue. I apologize in advance for the people I know I will offend._

_This is __**SLASH**__, tender at times but mostly filled with angst. But do not be mistaken every moment, tender, passionate or angsty, sweaty and heated in filled with irrevocable and inconceivable__**love.**_

**Hey guys I just wanted to remind you all that this fanfic specifically follows the BOOK ad not the movies. Buuuut I am changing some things but the plot will still be the exact same (just add the slash and make it in Remus' POV) Just so y'all know =) HAPPY READIN'**

**The Last Marauder  
****Chapter Ten**

**Of Train Rides and Broken Dreams**

Thirteen years later Remus Lupin was in Kings Cross waiting to get onto the Hogwarts Express, as he had taken the job as a teacher at the school. Defense Against the Dark Arts. It almost made him laugh, he _was_ the dark arts. He would be teaching children how to deal with the likes of _him_. It truly was laughable.

He stood leaning against a pillar drinking soda from a bottle, tiredly scanning the Daily Prophet, staying clear of the section on Sirius Black of course. It was then that he was bumped into, This luggage tumbled over and he nearly dropped his bottle but caught it in time, the girl who had run into him turned with an apologetic look.

"I'm so sorry, are you alright?" She picked his luggage up and stood it straight. He noted her red hair, freckles and gangly body in too-small clothing that had been thrice patched up. She must be a Weasley.

"I'm quite alright, don't worry about it," he nodded to her and she smiled timidly.

"Ginny come on dear we're waiting," Remus recognized Molly Weasley and he raised his hand in acknowledgment. She waved back and the girl ran along to her mother.

That's when he saw James Potter.

_No, not James, Harry._

A spitting image of his father, he stood with the rest of the Weasleys. Arthur Weasley seemed to be sticking close him, which brought Remus some relief, for it was true that the boy was in danger, or so everyone thought, now that Sirius was once again at large.

Molly hugged Harry twice and Remus smiled at his blush. He looked strong enough, and it was obvious he had close friends in the Wizarding World, and the Weasleys were as good as any if Remus had to say so himself, and there was no doubt that they certainly knew how to handle children. He chuckled to himself remembering the conversation that he had had with Sirius and the Potters when Lily had first announced her pregnancy.

When Mr. Weasley pulled Harry away for a bit to talk to him Remus decided it a good a time as any to get on the train. He picked an empty compartment at the end of the train and closed the door. He sighed softly and yawned, not realizing until only then how tired he was. He had spent the night at the Leaky Cauldron as he had done many nights before, it was almost like he was saying good-bye to it. For the year at least.

With one last yawn, he pulled his coat up high and closed his eyes to fall asleep.

He woke up to a dark train and a bunch of arguing teenagers.

"Not here! I'm here!" One male voice said.

"Ouch!" Another boy.

Lupin, thoroughly confused as to what was going on, sat up straight and hissed, "Quiet!" in a sleep ridden voice.

He stood slowly, lifting his want to light a small, heatless, fire in the palm of his hand. He illuminated the face of all the children. He caught the faces of the Weasley girl, Ginny, a boy he recognized as Neville Longbottom, a boy who was probably also a Weasley, a girl with bushy brown hair who mouthed the name of the smell I had used for the flames, and finally on the very end was Harry Potter, looking up at me in amazement with none other than Lily's emerald green eyes. For a moment he remained immobilized, taken in by the memories that came over him. His eyes flashed to the scar on the boys forehead, and he swallowed hard remembering what Sirius had done.

He shook his head, needing to keep going and figure out why it had suddenly become so dark and cold. "Stay where you are," and he reached for the compartment door handle, only to have it slide open before he could touch it.

He nearly cursed allowed when it opened to reveal a Dementer. It reached out a hand and sucked in. Remus heard a body slump to the floor behind him followed by a girl's frightened voice, "Harry!"

Remus was quick to react, pulling out his wand, "None of us is hiding Sirius Black under our cloaks. Go," the hooded figure didn't move, and so as his last resort he says in a firm, even tone, "_Expecto Patronum_!" A burst of light, a big ghostly dog, and the Dementer is gone.

The lights came back on he turns around to find Harry twitching on the floor. "Harry," the girl gasps falling to the floor beside him.

The male Weasley gets down too, and slaps his face, "Harry! Harry! Are you alright?"

His green eyes fluttered open, "Wh-what?"

His friends help him back into his seat, and he started talking about a woman screaming. Remus' looks away, knowing he's speaking of his beloved mother, who had died right in front of him. He remembered the chocolate bar that he had shoved in his pocket when he heard about the roaming Dementers. He broke a piece off of the huge chunk, and the kids all jumped to look at him. "Here. Eat it. It'll help."

Harry took the piece, and then asked about the dementers. Did he not know that they were only there for _his_ protection? To protect _him _from Sirius Black? _No,_ Lupin thought,_ I suppose the ministry wouldn't tell him about that. He probably doesn't even know who Sirius Black is. I suppose it's better that way._

"Dementers of Azkaban," he replied putting away his chocolate. The kids stared at him and he hoped that this wasn't a preview of what his classes were going to be like. He quickly excused himself, and left the compartment, taking in a deep breath once he was in the corridor.

He leaned against a wall not knowing what had come over him. He just felt something swell in his chest and he felt like he had to get away from the boy. He had known that he would be seeing Harry at school; it was something he had been looking forward too. He hoped that it would chase the suicidal thoughts away. But just seeing those green eyes, hearing about sweet, sweet Lily's screams, it made him hurt all over and he didn't know if he would be able to stand it, just thinking of what his lover had done to his friends… Sirius…

A dry sob wracked him hard but he pulled himself together as he noticed kids were starting to come from there compartments, confused as to what was going on.

"Alright, get back to your seats, nothing to worry about," he said and they all gave him a confused look but went anyways.

He stood straight and as the train started to move again he turned back to the compartment where Harry and his friends were sitting in a tense silence. Harry looked at him when he enter and Lupin put on a small smile. "You know I haven't poisoned that chocolate Harry," I motion to it and he nods, taking a small bite. I chide myself for saying his name before he actually told me it, but then again… I suspect he's used to it by now.

The rest of the ride uneventful as we sat in silence, the only noise was the brown haired girl, whose name I had learned to be Hermione, flipping a page in the book she was reading. He was glad that it had turned out like these; he was having trouble keeping his emotions in tact as it was. And when the train came to a stop he didn't even say good-bye to the departing children, instead he followed them out and watched as they ran to greet Hagrid on the platform.

Luping took note of the way the Malfoy boy sneered at his clothes on the carriages, he and his friends laughed at his attire. Remus had a feeling he was going to have some problems with that child in the future. He had better keep an eye on him just in case.

Remus rushed into the castle, hoping to be at his table before the opening ceremony, but by the time he was able to go to his bedroom to write a quick letter to Professor McGonagall about what had happened to Harry on the train, and get back to the great hall, the first years were already sitting at their respective tables and Dumbledore had started his speech for that year, though he noted that he wasn't the only one as Harry, Hermione and Professor McGonagall were also all only just taking their seats.

Dumbledore was talking about the dementers, warning the children that they weren't fooled by anything or anyone. Remus almost snorted up the pumpkin juice he had taken a sip of. Leave it to Sirius Black to prove _Albus Dumbledore_ wrong. Then his name was being announced and he received a rather pathetic applause from the students to which he merely smiled and nodded, Hagrid's announcement and then the feast began. Remus found himself watching the young Potter the whole time, though it upset him that the troublesome Malfoy kid was making fun of him, it seemed that Harry could stand up for himself, as in no time he and his friends were laughing about something else. Remus was glad that the boy had found happiness with all the turmoil in his life. He knew that it was something he himself could never really do.

When the feast was over and he was dismissed he started for bed when he was stopped by Severus Snape in an empty corridor. "Lupin," he said.

"Severus," I replied with a nod.

He thrust a bottle of what could be wolf's bane at me and I looked at it with a grimace, not wanting to be near the stuff, let alone think of why he had to be using it in the first place. "Dumbledore's one condition is that you must always take this. Otherwise you, for a lack of better words, will be sacked, you remember the dosage correct?"

Remus nodded, "Yes, of course. Thank you… Professor," he smiled at that, for whatever reason he hoped that it was enough to get through the school year with Severus being at least civil to one another. He didn't see why it would have to be any different; it had been a long time since they had played a prank of him.

Snape did not smile back.

Shocker.

Instead he walked past Remus, down the corridor, the opposite way. He just proceeded to his bedroom where he found another daily prophet sitting on his desk. His lover's senseless face, with the huge mad smile, and gaping screams on the front cover. He touched the man's brow, and the picture went up to try and bite off his finger. He didn't move it though and the picture silently screamed at him. "Sirius…" he whispered, anger still rising in him every time he said the name. The anger at what he had done to their friends and their poor son was still too much. He could barely handle the emotions he was feeling in that moment. Anger, passion, love, rage, fury…_love._

He pulled his finger away from the malicious picture, crumpled it up and threw it into his fireplace. Then he himself started screaming, only not so silently. He was seriously considering trying that jump from the covered bridge when his nerves finally settled and he was able to lie down on his bed and breathe properly.

"Sirius…" he whispered again, before falling fast asleep.

His haunting dreams were full of Sirius Black, screaming face, the Weasley's loving family, James Potter's face and Lily Potter's sparkling green eyes. The only thing that brought him redemption in the dream was the little faceless, eyeless boy with the lightening shaped scar of his forehead.

He woke up bright and early. For once he hadn't woken up in fits from nightmares all night.


	11. Of Sudden Happiness and Meaningful Conve

**Disclaimer:**_This is a work of__**fiction**__, a series of images from my own__**twisted mind**__, a story that JK would probably flinch in__**disgust**____at if she were ever to set eyes on it.__**I am sick**__, something I know, and something I embrace. These characters do not belong to me but I will take full responsibility for the__**grotesque thoughts and plots**__that ensue. I apologize in advance for the people I know I will offend._

_This is __**SLASH**__, tender at times but mostly filled with angst. But do not be mistaken every moment, tender, passionate or angsty, sweaty and heated in filled with irrevocable and inconceivable__**love.**_

**The Last Marauder  
****Chapter Eleven**

**Of Sudden Happiness and Meaningful Conversations**

"Remus, I was wondering if I could have a word," Minerva McGonagall called to the werewolf in the great hall before breakfast on a Thursday morning of the first of school.

"Of course Minerva," he replied, still feeling a little awkward about calling his old teacher by her first name.

The woman pulled him into the empty corridor, "I just wanted to tell you that I do not believe Potter knows about you, about how you used be such good friends with his parents… and I'm not entirely sure it's a good idea to tell him that an old friend of the man trying to kill him is in the school with him. No offence to you," she added when Remus looked down at the floor in slight distress.

"No I understand…"

"I really don't mean to upset you Remus. I couldn't possibly understand how hard this must be for you… but I am truthfully quite worried for him. Just yesterday when he was in divinations class he found _the grim_ in his tea leaves. _The grim!_ It's a dog… a giant black dog… and it mean _death_, probably scared the poor boy within an inch of his life," she looked at him expectantly and Remus swallowed too loudly.

He knew she had no idea what his friends had done. She would have never allowed it, for it was one of the most dangerous things, being an animagus, and allowing a bunch of teenagers to do so would have been so horrifying for her. There was no way she knew.

And yet Remus feared she had figured it out sometime along the way.

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He was shocked by his class's reactions to him. They seem genuinely engaged in his lessons, and it was almost like they were enjoying themselves. He was also shocked to find how little they actually knew. Though of course this was less of a shock, they had, after all, had two faulty teachers in a row.

He knew the parents of many of the children, and he feared that they knew his secret and passed it on to their children but it seemed that this was a moot worry for him to think of, for the children had nothing but excitement to show in his classes. Even the Slytherins who looked at him in disgust loved how he introduced them into the world of the Dark Arts, with the fear of being attacked, but the knowledge that they were actually perfectly safe.

It was that same Thursday afternoon that he had his first class with the third years from Gryffindor. He was happy that none of them argued as he led them from the classroom and to the staff room where they found Snape, who sneered, and insulted Neville Longbottom and Hermione Granger in one remark, to which Lupin reputed with asking the boy to help him at the front of the class. He aimed several questions at Harry without even noticing that he was always drawn to the boy's eyes. But he was smart; in fact Remus was almost positive that the boy tromped the talents that his father possessed. The boggart was amusing, watching the kids laugh and scream, terrified but having the time of their lives as they chased away their fears. He wasn't only teaching them how to defeat a boggart; he was teaching them a necessity of life. To take a bad situation, a scary situation and make it better with a single word.

Then Harry was standing in front of the boggart and everything stood still. Remus watched Harry carefully, speculating his face, taking in the confusion that came across it when the boggart didn't change immediately… and then Lupin suddenly realized that he couldn't let it change. He knew what it would become… and there was no way he could unleash the image of Voldemort to his students.

He leapt out in front of the boy, hollering "Here!" And instead the hesitating boggart became the full moon, gleaming…silvery white… And completely harmless, "Riddikulus!"

He saw the look of disappointment on Harry's face, and he smiled brightly, hoping the boy didn't take any particular offence to it. He wanted nothing more than Harry to like him, enjoy having him as a teacher. He couldn't handle it if the only part of James and Lily he had left despised him over something so trivial.

But as disappointed as he seemed they still talked happily about the class as they were leaving for their next classes.

It hadn't even finished his week of the school year and he was already feeling like his old self once again.

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Remus fell into a routine. He was happier than he had been in years and even his monthly problem went by faster and with less pain than usual. He supposed that Snape really knew his stuff, as the wolf-bane was better than the stuff that Slughorn himself had made years before.

Yes things were a lot better now that he was back in the school, and suddenly he was determined to break the so called Defense Against the Dark Arts "jinx" and be the teacher for years to come yet.

News of Sirius slowly started to decrease, less and less everyday on the Profit, till his picture was nothing more than a single corner on the third page.

He formed a sort of bond with Harry as he found that the boy was the best in the class, even better than Hermione Granger, who had been showing up a moment late for every one of his classes, due to her time turner he was sure.

Harry was inquisitive, strong, happy… normal. Lupin knew that James would have been proud of him, as he so obviously took after his father in nearly every way. He was even on the Quidditch team. He had been through so much, and yet he acted as though was like any of the other kids at Hogwarts.

Yes, things were good. Great even.

It was Hallowe'en that everything started going downhill. That the memories came rushing back, and it was all he could do to not start ripping his own hair from his head. But that wasn't even the worst of it.

It started out as a normal day. He woke up with a pit in his stomach as he realized it had officially been twelve years since the death of his friends, the imprisonment and the ultimate betrayal of his lover.

He dragged himself to the front of the castle where Hagrid was waiting for him, a crate in hand. "Ah! Good, thank you Hagrid, that's perfect. Did you get to see him?" He questioned.

The half-giant shook his head, "No I didn't know if it was safe to open the crate… you never know with the DADA class… and previous teachers… well I just wasn't sure."

Remus nodded in understanding, "Well come with me, and we'll have a look at the darling creature, shall we?" He motioned for Hargrid to follow him back to his office.

The corridors were particularly empty, as the kids were all at Hogsmeade, which left Filch pacing the halls, awaiting the goodies the students were bound to bring back from Zonko's Joke Shop.

"In here, Dumbledore has already set me up with a tank and everything, come along just through here," He showed Hagrid the giant empty tank in the corner of his office.

Hagrid set the crate down and nodded, "There you are Professor Lupin, if you have any trouble just tell me alright?" He turned to leave but Remus stopped him.

"Don't you want to see the Grindylow, Hagrid?"

The man turned, surprised and obviously excited. Remus liked Hagrid, always had, but the knowledge that this man, this big hearted, loving, half-giant, had been the last one to talk to Sirius before he went after Peter was kind of disheartening. He had been the one to deliver Harry to his aunt and uncle, and he had arrived at the Potter's house only moments after Sirius had. Remus had heard of this during the last Order meeting that there ever was. It had crushed him.

"Can I?" Hagrid asked, regarding the Grindylow.

"Well of course you can, but only if you help me get him in the tank first."

Hagrid nodded and together we opened the crate, where the greenish creature hissed and bared his teeth, splashing violently in the shallow water. The bigger man swiftly picked up the box and dutifully poured its contents into the tank. The Grindylow swam around in the bigger area happily.

"Daring little guy," Hagrid mumbled tapping the glass of the tank.

The creature growled at him before dashing to hide in a thick set of seaweed, only its glowing yellow eyes visible in the dark water.

"Yes, they are quite extraordinary I find," Lupin stated with a smile. The kids would love the monster.

Sometime later, after Hagrid had left, Remus heard footsteps down the hall. Confused, as most everybody was in Hogdmeade, he stood and went to the doorway, poking his head out. He spotted Harry Potter going down the corridor. Remus went back to his reading, but for only a second when he remembered that Harry shouldn't be in the school at all that day, he should be in Hogsmeade with his friends. Why was he walking around the school all alone… didn't he know that there was a mad man after him? Maybe he did. Remus knew how worried everyone was that Harry would go after Sirius if he knew what the man had done… but how could he know?

"Harry?" he called as the boy rounded a corner, his head quickly peeked back around, his green eyes catching Remus' brown ones. The teenager came towards him upon seeing who it was, stopping at the door where Lupin stood. "What are you doing? Where are Ron and Hermione?" The boy shrugged.

"Hogsmeade," Remus knew immediately that he was upset about this, that he obviously wasn't allowed to go for some reason.

"Ah," he replied looking the gangly boy up and down. Lupin decided to cheer Harry up, maybe have an actually conversation with him, get to know him a little better. "Why don't you come in? I've just taken delivery of a Grindylow for our next lesson."

"A what?"

Remus lead his way into his office and stopped in front of the tank, where the Grindylow had remerged, pressing its body against the glass. Remus explained to Harry how it had been easy enough catching it in the Black Lake, and then he went to his desk and offered the teenager some tea. "I was just thinking of making one."

Harry looked a little embarrassed, obviously perplexed by the idea of casually sitting down for a cup of tea with a teacher, and suddenly he so wanted to tell the boy that to him he was so much more than a student. He was a ray of hope in what was a seemingly endless tunnel of darkness.

All the same Harry says, "All right," and after being directed to do so, he sits on the chair across the desk. "I've only got tea bags, I'm afraid – but I daresay you've had enough of tea leaves?"

Harry looked up in surprise, "How did you know about that?"

"Professor McGonagall told me," he handed Harry the cup of tea, "you're not worried are you?" Of course he was talking about Sirius, but he wondered if Harry knew that.

Without hesitation Harry says, "No," and Remus knew in that second that the boy had courage, possibly more than his father ever had. Up until that moment it had seemed impossible that anyone could be more courageous than that.

The boy's eyebrows came together for a second and Lupin tilted his head slightly to the left, "Anything worrying you Harry?"

"No," he replied, and just like Lily he was a terrible liar, but Remus didn't say anything, not wanting to press him as he just stared at the cursing Grindylow. Sure enough after a moment Harry sets his tea down and says, "Yes. You know that day we fought the boggart?"

Moony most definitely was not expecting this, "Yes…"

"Why didn't you let me fight it?"

Lupin's eyebrows went into his hairline. Ah, so that was it. Remus had hurt his pride, "I would have that was obvious Harry," it was true, didn't the boy know that he wouldn't have wanted to expose the horrors of his past to a class room of kids?

"Why?"

Remus frowned, this boy was most definitely James' son. "Well, I assumed that if the boggart faced you it would assume the shape of Lord Voldemort," the boy looked shocked at the sound of the name, but Remus continued. "Clearly, I was wrong. But I didn't think it was a good idea for Voldemort to materialise in the staff room. I imagined that people would panic."

Harry considered this for a moment, and then he says, "I did think of Voldemort at first, but then I remembered those Dementors," he seemed to be carefully considering this and Lupin just had to smile.

"Well, well… I'm impressed. That suggests that what you fear most of all is fear itself. Very wise Harry," the teen looked embarrassed, and so he took a sip of tea and then kept going on. "So you've been think I didn't believe you capable of fighting the boggart?"

"Well, yeah. Professor Lupin, you know the Dementors-" a knock at the door cut him off and Remus looked up.

"Come in," he called. Snape comes in then, a new batch of wolfs bane in his hands. Remus blenched a little, remember that there was going be a full moon the next night. He covered it with a smile, "Ah Severus, Thanks very much, could you just set it on the desk here for me?" The potions master did so, his eyes flitting suspiciously between Harry and Moony, "I was just showing Harry my Grindylow," Remus tried to make his voice even and joyful as he pointed at the tank in the corner.

Indifferent Snape replies, "Fascinating. You should take that directly Lupin."

"Yes, yes I will."

"I made an entire cauldron full if you need more," he pressed, obviously trying to rouse something out of his former class mate in front of their student.

"I should probably take some tomorrow again. Thanks very much Severus."

"Not at all," he finally replied, leaving, his eyes still trained on the two of them until the office door was closed again.

Harry looked at the goblet with a spark of mischief in his eyes and Remus was quick to cover his tracks with another broad smile, "Professor Snape has kindly concocted a potion for me. I have never been much of a potion brewer, and this one is particularly complex."

"Why-" Harry started but Lupin gave him a pointed look that stopped the question from fully forming.

"I have been feeling a bit off-colour lately, this potion is the only thing that helps. I'm lucky to be working alongside Professor Snape, there aren't many wizards who would be willing to brew it," he takes a gulp of the steaming potion and then Harry suddenly blurts something out that suggested just how much he actually disliked Snape.

"Professor Snape is very interested in the Dark Arts."

"Really?" Lupin replied, only too aware of this fact.

"Some people reckon that he'd do anything to get the Defence Against the Dark Arts positions," he hesitated but he actually said the sentence and Remus just stared for a moment… what was Harry suggesting?

Remus, took a breath and then he chugged back his wolfs-bane, "Disgusting," he said flinching at the taste, "Well Harry I'd better get back to work. I'll see you at the feast."

"Right," Harry replied setting down his empty tea cup again.

That evening at the feast Lupin found himself growing more and more annoyed with the constant watchful eye of none other than Snape, who was being all too obvious about it. But he said nothing, for it had been _him_ that almost attacked all those years ago.

But he ignored it, wanting to enjoy this night, as tomorrow he would be holed up in the Shrieking Shack, howling at the moon. He sat next to Hagrid who questioned about the water creature that he had helped with early that day, and Remus found himself laughing with the man about a dragon he had hatched two years earlier, loving to hear more about how Harry had spent his first year at Hogwarts surrounded by the same friends, excelling in the same classes, being tortured by the same Snape. It was as though the boy had always known he was a wizard his entire life.

It was later that night while Lupin was walking back to his room, happily full of delicious food that he heard the commotion going on, on the staircase outside of the Gryffinor common room, everyone whispering _his _name over and over, saying that it was _him_ who had chased off the Fat Lady from the picture frame. He had been inside the school, trying to get into the common rooms where, on any normal night, Harry would have been sleeping soundly in his bed.

Sirius Black had been in the school.

_In the school._

His heart wretched painfully in his chest and he stumbled to the staircase, where more of a crowd was forming around the scene. Dumbledore was ordering everyone around, the most calm of the crowd. The students were to go to the Great Hall, where they were to sleep that night, and the teachers were to start searching the school.

Lupin started with where he immediately thought the man would be. The secret passages that the Marauders had found back when they had been students. He searched every one of them, not finding a thing, unless you counted all of the painful memories that is. Finally on the last passage, behind an old statue, he illuminated the end of his wand to look down the long tunnel that lead straight to Honey Dukes in Hogsmeade.

He let out a breath that he had not noticed he was holding in when he found absolutely nothing. He looked to his feet, letting out a harsh laugh. Of course he wasn't using these tunnels. It would be too obvious. Sirius was anything if not stealthy.

It was then that he saw them.

From years of no use the tunnel's floors had gotten so dusty that it looked like a thin layer of grey snow… but also like they would be if it had actually been snow, the tracks were quite prominent. All the way down the path. They were inevitably, huge dog tracks.


	12. Of Transformations and Private Lessons

**Disclaimer:**_This is a work of__**fiction**__, a series of images from my own__**twisted mind**__, a story that JK would probably flinch in__**disgust**____at if she were ever to set eyes on it.__**I am sick**__, something I know, and something I embrace. These characters do not belong to me but I will take full responsibility for the__**grotesque thoughts and plots**__that ensue. I apologize in advance for the people I know I will offend._

_This is __**SLASH**__, tender at times but mostly filled with angst. But do not be mistaken every moment, tender, passionate or angsty, sweaty and heated in filled with irrevocable and inconceivable__**love.**_

_**I'm really sorry that my time lapse lines aren't working!**_

**The Last Marauder  
****Chapter Twelve**

**Of Transformations and Private Lessons**

The next day Remus sat through breakfast with a grimace set firm on his face. Every student in the hall seemed to be talking about none other than Sirius Black, making up intricate stories of how it was possible that the man had even entered the school. Most of which were absolutely ridiculous, some of which weren't all that far from the truth.

If this wasn't enough, Severus Snape had spoken to several teachers about how Remus himself had allowed the escaped prisoner to enter the school. Not to mention he was worrying about his transformation that night.

"Remus, when will you be back teaching your classes?" Dumbledore approached him in the empty corridor after breakfast.

Remus looked at the man and smiled warily, "I should be fine in two days. Until then Severus and Minerva are seeing to it that my classes are always covered."

"Good, good. Just one more thing. I know that Severus has been spreading a nasty rumour, and I would like you to know that no one is taking it seriously. We all know that you would never let him into the school, and besides it's not like you could I you tried," the old man laughed and Remus gave a weak smile, not sure if he was to be offended or feel better.

"Thanks Albus…"

"You're very welcome. We'll see you later m'boy," with that he walked about away humming a muggle song to himself.

Remus shook his head. The man was completely mental.

All the same he attended all of his classes, growing wearier as the day droned on. Teaching his students of the mysteries of the forbidden forest, and the obscurities of the black lake; he spoke of the times that he had travelled to the mountains and came face to face with a group of giants. The pixies that he encountered when he had helped clean a train that hadn't been touched in a hundred years. They loved his stories, well most did. Others went on about how their teacher from the previous year had told similar stories, and his were all most definitely not real.

When his classes were done for the day he was sitting at his desk, doing up the work for the teachers to cover his class the next two days when Severus walked in. More wolfs-bane in his hand, "Thank you Severus, just over here."

Snape went to set it on the desk hard, some of the smoking liquid splashed on the desk. "You are not fooling anyone you know Lupin," he snapped when Remus opened his mouth to once again thank the man.

"What ever are you talking about Severus?"

"The Headmaster knows and so do I. _You_ let Black into the castle last night," Remus only sighed at the accusation.

"Why would I do that?"

He sneered at Lupin with a wicked grin, which was mixed with a look of utter disgust. "I know you were particularly _close_ to Black. I had the very unfortunate gift of walking into the wrong broom closet at the wrong time. I'm surprised Lily never told you. I had run straight to her after I saw that _despicable _scene unfold under my nose. She found it _sweet_ like it wasn't completely wrong_. Repulsing._ I feel sick at the thought of it! That is why you would allow him into the school!"

Lupin had no words. That was how Lily had known in the first place. Now Severus was walking around with _both_ of his secrets at his disposal. He knew about Sirius and him… and it repulsed him, it made him sick. Remus hadn't ever heard someone say that to him. Seeing as Lily was the only who actually knew about he and Sirius. And his close friends were the only ones who even knew about his preference in genders. Everyone had accepted it, what was it Lily had said to him that day?

"_I saw how happy you two were, and I'd know the look of love from anywhere. It's something that you can never let go of. Don't let him go Remus, he is someone you can trust, and that is saying something in these times."_

She had been more than happy for him. And now here was a man… repulsed. Sick. Disgusted. "I'm sorry you had to see that Severus," he whispered, feeling tears prick at the corner of his eyes.

"You should be."

"You have to understand though… Sirius killed my best friends. I've lost all hope in him. I've let go. There is no reason for me to ever help him. He betrayed me and that's that."

"You sound like a woman Lupin. Take the potion and get out of the school," the man turned to leave, but stopped short, "and try not to kill any students."

Remus was staring at his hands when the door slammed.

The potion was as vile as ever as he chugged it down. He grabbed a jacket and left the room, closing the door firmly behind him. He passed Minerva on his way out, and she gave him a sympathetic smile, "Have a good evening Remus."

He had to laugh out loud, "You too, just be sure its better than mine."

Then he was in the shrieking shack, laying on the old mattress that he and Sirius had spent many nights on when they needed to get away from the others in their dorm room. He was silent for a few moments, but eventually the tears came, followed by the sobs, the screaming, and eventually the throwing.

He sat panting on the window sill, tears still coming silently as he tried with all his might to catch his breath. Why was this happening now? Why couldn't Sirius just face what he had done, and stayed in prison? Why was he so set on killing the only thing that Remus had left of the marauders? Padfoot had loved Harry almost as much as the boy's own parents. Why would Sirius want to do this? Lily's words came back to his mind for the second time that night.

_"Sirius is having trouble with this war. It's warping his thoughts as I am sure you can see…"_

Of course he saw. Every day he watched as the man he loved slipped farther and farther away until he was finally _gone_.

Remus looked at the forest beyond the Shack. Dusk was becoming night, and he knew it wouldn't be long now. He took off his jacket, and tie. Slipping his shoes and socks from his feet. He was sitting back on the sill in only boxers when he spotted him.

The black dog lay at the edge of the forest. At first glance you could assume it was just a big wolf. A creature from the forbidden forest. But Remus was entrapped by the dog's eyes, which were glued to Remus' form. Silver specks sparkled in the familiar, grey eyes. The dog whimpered loudly.

Remus was stuck staring. Trying with all his might to convince himself that it wasn't him. It wasn't Sirius. Just a dog. A wolf with grey eyes…

Then the moon was out, and Remus was screaming, and the dog was howling and the pain was flowing. He shook so violently that he fell to the floor of the Shack. He writhed in pain, feeling his skin stretch and pull tight as his bones expanded and bent at odd angles, making sickly popping and cracking noises that churned his stomach. He tried to slow his breathing, knowing it would help more than anything; but the pain came anyways. Hair sprouted from his hands and chest, and his tail bone grew, sprouting right off his back, and trailing behind him.

He stopped shaking, and he tried to keep control of himself, but without meaning to he release a loud, throaty howl from the back of his throat. He heard a familiar howl return his, and he was about to chase after it.

He caught himself though, suddenly remembering his own mind. He instead went to the bed on four legs, sniffed for a moment with his long snout, before jumping up, putting down his head down on his paws and closing his eyes tightly. He was determined to sleep off this night. He didn't want to become a monster. Not again.

He awoke the next morning completely naked and on the stairs of the shack, and he had to groan. Sometime in the course of the night he had lost control, and now he was laying there surrounded by rabbit blood, with his own mixed in. A few scratches on his chest trickled blood down to the floor.

He groaned, and rolled over, and tried to sit up. His head was too dizzy though and instead he ended up falling back over, slipping on the stairs and violently vomiting. He convulsed for a few moments, passing out again.

When he woke up for the second time he was on the bed. His cuts cleaned, his pants on, and an old quilt that he recognized from all his other transformation, pulled up to his chin. He looked around, not sure what to make of all of this. Had he done it before he passed out and just didn't remember?

He looked down to find a ratty old bowl from downstairs at his feet, in it was steam porridge. He scrunched his eyebrows, the image all too familiar. This is how he would wake up every morning after his transformation when he had been in school.

He spotted the dogs tracks again, muddy ones that led into the bedroom as human and then back out of the room as dog paws. He swallowed, closing his eyes and kicking the steaming bowl across the room. He wasn't about to eat this. No matter how much his heart ached at the thought of throwing away what Sirius had given him.

"Stay away from me!" He screamed loudly. Tears in his eyes once more, he sat on the edge of the bed and put his head in his hands.

"I see you've had a productive morning," Severus Snape's voice was at the door and Remus looked up. "Dumbledore sent me to check on you. Get back to the school. You're expected in class on Monday."

Remus picked up his remaining clothes and followed the man from the house and back to the school where he went straight to his room, lay down on the bed and fell fast asleep.

At lunch he was tempted to go to Dumbledore about the dog he had seen, but he couldn't bring himself to do it as he himself wasn't sure if it had been who he had thought it was. There were a lot of dogs in the forest after all.

Before dinner he went to the first Quidditch match of the term, and watched as Harry took after his father on the broom. Skillfully whipping around, Cedric Diggory on his tail chasing after him. That's when Remus' eyes caught on something. The silhouette of a shaggy black dog sitting at the top of an empty row of seats. He stood, and took his wand. Sirius was going to knock Harry from the sky. He was going to kill him right then.

Harry went straight up into sky, right into a giant storm cloud that was flashing with lightening. And Harry came straight down, shaking and spinning as he fell. Without his broom. The black dog was gone. Harry landed with a great _thump._

Remus watched as Dumbledore ran out and used his patronus on the dementors floating around. Remus meanwhile ran down out of the pitch and to the edge of the forest, where he fund the paw tracks leading into. "Why are you doing this?" He yelled. "Just stay away from him! He's all I have left after you _killed them!_"

He fell to his knees, panting heavily. Eventually he stood and went back to the school.

He returned to his classes the following Monday tired and feeling a little more skeletal than usual and a little worse for wear, but able to put on a smile for his Gryffindors. They complained about the homework Snape assigned of werewolves and he chided himself at allowing the man to cover for him. All the same he assured his students that they would not be required to do the essay. They all calmed down and had fun during their hands on class with a Hinkypunk. When they all got up at the end of class he called Harry back, wanting to ask him about the fall he took. Make sure he was alright.

He made small talk about the broom, seeing the disappointment in the teen's eyes at the fact that his broom was broken. Again he was surprised at just how much of a normal thirteen year old the boy really was. When he brought up the Whomping Willow Remus remembered how Dumbledore had planted the damned tree just for his sake back in his first year.

"Did you hear about the dementors too?" Harry asked after a moment.

He nodded, he had been so happy that it was the dementors that had knocked him from the broom and not the black dog sitting in the stands. All the same he asked Harry if that was the true reason and the teen nodded.

"_Why?_ Why do they affect me like that? Am I just-"

Lupin cut him off quickly, "It has nothing to do with weakness. The dementors attack you worse than the others because there are horrors on your past that the others don't have," he continued telling Harry of what Dementors actually fed on. "The worst memories that _you_ have are enough to make anyone fall from their broom. There is nothing to be ashamed of Harry."

Harry hesitated, fear and pain evident in his eyes. That was the first time Remus had seen anything of the sort in the boy. "When they get near me…" he lowered his gaze to Remus' desk. "I can hear Voldemort murdering my mother."

Remus reach out to touch Harry, to lay a consoling hand on his shoulder. But he retracted it, unable to comfort the boy. Not wanting to imagine what that sounded like. Not wanting to even think about how she must have pleaded, her big, green eyes filling with tears, her beautiful face fallen, distraught. No he couldn't bring himself to do anything to help the boy. Instead he focused on packing his brief case, clicking it closed.

Harry continued talking, bitterly cursing the monsters presence at the match. Remus explained that they were frustrated that Dumbledore was keeping them from the students. Restless and hungry they longed for the happy moments that the kids below were sharing.

"Azkaban must be terrible."

Remus pictured his lover in the dark, dank place and nodded grimly. Explaining how it was situated on an island, and how none of the prisoners were able to possess a single happy thought. "Most of them go mad within weeks."

Harry chuckled darkly, clenching his fists, "Sirius Black escaped from them," his voice was hard and it made Remus drop his brief case. He hated hearing Padfoot's name spoken with such hatred. Especially when the voice came from James' face.

He bent down to pick it up, his voice catching in his throat. "Yes… Black must have found a way to fight them. I wouldn't believe it possible… dementors are supposed to drain a wizard of his powers if he is left with them too long…" his thoughts went to the black dog he kept seeing. What he said was true, there was no way that the dog was Sirius. Azkaban turned even the greatest of wizards into nothing but insane muggles.

Their conversation went on for a few more moments and Remus finally saw the true Harry Potter, the boy who was determined to never be beaten. He asked for private lessons and Remus had to smile.

"Well… alright, I'll try and help. It'll have to be next term I'm afraid. I have a lot to do before the holidays. It seems I picked a picked a very inconvenient time to fall ill."

Harry agreed with a smile, before running off after his friends.

Remus sighed.

What has he gotten himself into now?


	13. Of Break In's and Angry Teachers

**Disclaimer:**_This is a work of__**fiction**__, a series of images from my own__**twisted mind**__, a story that JK would probably flinch in__**disgust**____at if she were ever to set eyes on it.__**I am sick**__, something I know, and something I embrace. These characters do not belong to me but I will take full responsibility for the__**grotesque thoughts and plots**__that ensue. I apologize in advance for the people I know I will offend._

_This is __**SLASH**__, tender at times but mostly filled with angst. But do not be mistaken every moment, tender, passionate or angsty, sweaty and heated in filled with irrevocable and inconceivable__**love.**_

_**I'm really sorry that my time lapse lines aren't working!**_

**The Last Marauder  
****Chapter Thirteen**

**Of Break In's and Angry Teachers**

The holidays came swiftly, and during the November moon Remus was sure to secure the Shack, drink extra potion, and not fall asleep. He stayed on the old mattress, whimpering, and trying just to keep his eyes open. Eventually the sun came and he was back as his old self, no mysterious bowls of porridge, or big black dogs. December was just the same, though as the full moon fell on Christmas it was the worst that he'd had in a while. He did the same as he did the month before he found that he was very lonely, crying and whimpering loudly in his werewolf form.

His classes started and everything felt a lot better when he was teaching. "Professor," Harry came up to him after class on the first day of classes, "About my private lessons…" he looked at Remus expectantly.

"Oh right, of course. Let me see… how about eight o'clock on Thursday evening? I believe that the History of Magic room is big enough, and Professor Binns shouldn't mind. Now I just have to figure out how to do this… I certainly can't just bring a dementor into the school… hmmm…"

Harry left, content with the date and Remus really was amazed at the boy's determination. Minerva had informed him of the Firebolt he had received on Christmas, and how she feared it was jinxed. The boy had apparently been livid; Moony pictured James in the same predicament and chuckled to himself. The man would have had a conniption! But Harry… he just kept going, determined to get it back, determined to learn how to conjure a Protonus.

When Thursday rolled by he had long since figured out what to do, as he remembered what Harry had said about the boggart. So, after a lot of screaming and yelling on Hagrid's part, they were successfully able to transfer the boggart from the staffroom wardrobe to a trunk.

When Harry arrived he began explaining what the Patronus charm did, and how exactly he was to use it. "You need to focus with all your might on your single happiest memory; and then say very loudly, and very clearly _expect patronum_. Alright?"

He nodded and took out his wand, "Right. Expecto Patrono – no _patronum, _sorry – _expecto patronum… expecto patronum!"_

A silvery gust came from the end of Harry's wand and Remus grinned broadly, patting him on the shoulder, "Very good! Ready to try it on a Dementor?"

"Yes," he replied, wand at ready.

Remus, quite nervous, because frankly he _knew_ the boy would never get it on the first try, pulled the top of the trunk open. The dementor rose, though his mood immediately diminished, the feeling wasn't quite the same as a real dementor. Still Harry's voice was firm and strong… but it faded as he repeated those words over and over… till finally he fell to the floor, quivering. Remus knew exactly what he was hearing, and he felt remorse at even letting the boy do this.

Lupin stood before the boggart, which formed into a moon, "Ridickulus!" the boggart was back in the box and he quickly rushed over to him, "Harry!"

His green eyes flew open, panic filled… and then back to normal. "Sorry," he muttered, sitting upright on the floor.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes…" he grabbed a nearby desk and pulled himself up, leaning against it.

Remus pulled the chocolate he had prepared out of his pocket, handing the boy a generous piece. "Here eat this before we try again. I didn't expect you to do it the first time. In fact, I would have been quite astounded if you had."

"It has gotten worse. I hear her louder this time… and Voldemort's voice… it was there as well…" Remus paled. He couldn't imagine the horror of hearing Voldemort's voice in your head. Loud and clear, whether it was just a memory or not.

"Harry, if you don't wish to continue… I understand-"

"I do!" Harry cut the Professor off, and shoved the chocolate in his mouth. "I have to! What if the dementors come up while I'm up against Ravenclaw? I can't afford to fall again. We'll lose the Quidditch cup if we lose this game!" He was distraught over the cup… _the cup_. Remus almost laughed out loud. It was James talking to him again. He smirked a little.

"All right then, but you might want to select a different memory. It seems that that one wasn't happy enough for the dementor. It has to be very, very strong."

He gave Harry a moment to consider this. "Ready?"

"Ready."

Once again he released the boggart turned dementor. Harry wasn't even able to give out one word of the spell when he fell to the floor with a huge intake of air. Remus quickly got the boggart back in and went to the boy, who was sobbing, unconscious on the floor. He patted his on the face, but it only roused a moan and _"Dad no…"_

"Harry! Harry… wake up…" this time he near-slapped the boy and his eyes fluttered open, he lay there for a full minute looking around, confused, tears still dripping silently down his cheeks.

"I heard my dad. That's first time I've ever heard his voice before… he tried to take on Voldemort himself… give my mum time to run for it…" he trailed off, suddenly realizing he was crying. Embarrassed, he lent down, secretly wiping his face on his robes, tying his already tied shoe.

Not that Lupin was paying attention… he was more focused on what the boy had just said. "You heard James' voice?"

"Yeah… why? You didn't know my dad, did you?"

Remus swallowed hard, memories of the years he had spent with his friend at Hogwarts passing before his eyes. "I- I did, as a matter of fact. We were friends at Hogwarts. Listen Harry, perhaps we should leave it here for tonight. This charm is ridiculously advance, I shouldn't have tried to press you into doing this…"

"No! I'll have one more go! I'm not thinking of happy enough things, that's it…hang on…" it was obvious how badly the boy wanted this. He saw the look of utter disdain in his eyes before they lit up in realization. Moony knew that he had it this time.

"Ready? Concentrating hard?" He put his hands on the top of the lid, ready to pull it off, "Alright – go!"

He lifted it off and for the last time the dementor floated out, its sucking noises ready to take any happy memory in the room. This time Remus felt the chills as Harry lifted his wand. "_Expecto Patronum!"_ Remus watched in amazement as the shapeless Patronus come from the tip of his wand. The ghostly gas seared into the fake dementor.

"Riddikulus!" Remus jumped in and Harry collapsed on a near-by chair. He laughed and patted the boy on the shoulder, "That's was good for your first time, Harry!"

"Can I have one more go?" He asked, confidence in his eyes. "I think I can do even better this time."

Remus chuckled again, pulling out the chocolate again and giving him the remainder. "No, I do believe that was enough for one night. Here eat this or Madame Pomfrey will have my blood," Harry took it, and had a bite before looking to Remus. Moony got a strange feeling that things were about to get personal and he sat in a desk across from Harry.

"Professor Lupin? If you knew my dad, you must've known Sirius Black as well," _…and the truth comes out… had Snape said something? No he couldn't have… He doesn't know about that… he couldn't know about his lover…_

"What gives you that idea?" He didn't mean for the edge that was in his voice… but it just came out, and the look on Harry's face made him regret it.

"I- it's just that I knew him and my father were friends back at Hogwarts…" _…oh… so he didn't actually know about he and Sirius… he knew about Sirius and James… _Remus realized that the latter was probably worse.

"Yes I knew him…" Remus said shortly, looking away, not wanting to cry in front of the boy. "...Or I thought I did. You better get off Harry, it's getting late."

Harry nodded and left the classroom without another word, chocolate still in his hand. Remus felt bad at how he had treated him, but there was nothing to do about it. He simply could not risk talking about the madman in front of Harry.

When he was sure that Harry was out of the corridor he picked up his trunk and went back to his office.

_**(TIME LAPSE – you know how it is…)**_

Weeks passed and Harry grew more and more confident in his skills. Though that didn't much improve them… the most he could muster up was a silvery shadow that left the boggart befuddled, but not beaten. But it was something. Which was better than nothing.

On the morning before the big Quidditch match against Ravenclaw which would ultimately decide the Quidditch Final's teams, Remus was reading the Daily Prophet, shocked to find Sirius' image once again on the front page… only to find that it was because they had decided his fate upon returning to Azkaban.

_The Dementors' Kiss._

He felt sick at the thought. The man would lose his soul… he didn't deserve it… did he? _Yes, yes he does. No matter what. Sirius deserves everything short of death_. All the same he had to put the newspaper down and leave the room. Snape's eyes and wicked smile followed him out of the room.

He pulled himself from his room that afternoon in order to watch the match as he had promised Harry he would. He sat himself beside Minerva, which was amusing to say the least, as she spent the entire time yelling at Lee Jordon, and his very off topic commentary. It was a proud moment when Harry used the Protonus Charm on the oncoming dementors, much to the teacher's amazements. "Good job Remus," Minerva tells him with a smile and a lot of the other teachers nod. Though of course went the dementors fell they all noticed immediately that they hadn't actually been dementors… just interfering Slytherins. Then the whistle was blown and he found himself jumping up with everyone else cheering.

He couldn't help the imminent joy that he felt for Harry's success.

That was when everything started going bad.

He was woken up in the middle of the night by talking in the corridors. His first thought was that he had slept in, but upon seeing everyone in their pajamas he knew he was wrong. Something was going on… and judging by the crying girls, and the shaken boys he knew it had to have been something _really_ wrong.

"What's going on?" He asked a distraught Gryffindor girl who was in her first year.

She sniffed loudly and her friend put an arm around her. "S – S – Sirius," _sniff, sniff, _"Black… in the… the boy's dorms! Oh poor Harry Potter…" she pressed her face into her friend's shirt and Remus was filled with dread.

_Poor Harry Potter… poor Harry Potter…_ He rushed around looking frantically for the boy, but seeing nothing but the crying, scared children. Finally he spotted Harry and his friends on the stairs with Minerva. Ron was visibly shaking, and was very pale, almost sickly.

He gave a sigh and looked to another student, this time a boy from Harry's year, Seamus. "What happened?" he asked, hoping to get a little more information.

The boy looked at Remus, "It was crazy, we all woke up 'cause Ron was screamin' bloody murder. He was cryin', sayin' that Black had been in the dorms holding a knife to him. We didn't believe him but when we saw his slashed curtains… couldn't believe it… scariest thin' I ever heard in me life!" He was speaking fast, but Lupin got the gist of it and patted the boy on the shoulder.

"You're alright now," then he started for Minerva, who was now ushering everyone back to their common room.

"What are we going to do?" He questioned.

"Search the school again of course," she replied, obviously frightened herself.

Remus knew immediately where to check. He ran to the statue that hid the secret path, and once again he found the paw prints. "Leave him alone!" He yelled down the tunnel, tears in his eyes, "Padfoot… Just go… Harry is all I have…" His voice was hoarse, and he gasped, his chest hurting.

A soft howl echoed down the secret passage and Remus back away, closing the entrance. He had gotten away… again.

_**(TIME LAPSE – you know how it is…)**_

The next day the teachers were all given a new schedule. They were to patrol the school corridors, there was always to be one in the halls at all times. He found himself wondering if he could find the old marauders map in Filch's office.

Still the days went on and the school was once again calming down. He got his routine back, every one of his Thursday evenings spent with Harry, they laughed, and talked about school, and he finally started getting better at his Potronus, as it was actually starting to form a shape now. His classes went by, and he loved his students, loved teaching them, loved how it got his mind off of the school's recent intruder.

One particular evening he sat grading essays, all the students once more in Hogsmeade for the day. That's when the flames in his fire place started booming with Severus' voice, _"Lupin!_" He was livid, "_I want a word!"_

He sighed, set down his quill, and thru a handful of flu powder into the fire he stepping in and emerged in Snape's office. Where he found Harry sitting on a chair across from the professor's desk. _Uh-oh…_

"You called Severus?"

"I certainly did. I just asked Potter to empty his pockets and this is what he pulled out. Have a look!" He pointed his wand at an old piece of parchment on the desk.

Moony was momentarily stunned. The parchment was old but in shining letters is clearly read: _"Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs." _Followed by a message that Remus was sure was to insult Snape as that was how they had enchanted it all those years ago. Severus knew what this was… or at the very least he recognized the nicknames that were scribbled neatly on it. Anybody who had been in their year would recognize the names.

"_Well?_ The parchment is plainly full of dark magic. This is supposed to be your area of expertise after all. Where do you imagine Potter got such a thing?" His voice had a hard edge and Lupin knew that he was accusing him of giving the map to Harry. Which was completely ridiculous with Sirius roaming the halls, he looked at the teen who had opened his mouth to talk. Harry sat quietly instead.

"Dark magic Severus? It looks to me that it is merely a piece of parchment that insults anyone who tries to read it. Certainly Mr. Potter got it from a joke shop of some sort," though he himself was confused as to how the map had gotten into Harry's hands.

"Indeed," Severus said, no… _now _he's livid. "You think a joke-shop would be able to provide such a thing? Don't you think it more likely that he got it _straight from the manufactures_," Harry looked confused and Remus forced himself to keep a straight face at the now-clear accusation.

"You mean from Mr Moony or one of these people? Harry do you know any of these men?" He looked at the boy, thinking, _Yes, you've met them all… you're sitting right in front of one…_

"No!" Harry said shaking his head.

"You see Severus, it looks like a Zonko product to me."

Severus opened his mouth, clearly about to give away the true makers of the map, when in that exact moment Ron Weasley burst into the room completely out of breath claiming that he himself had given Harry the parchment.

"You see? That clears it all up then! Severus I'll take this _back_ shall I?" He took the map, touching it for the first time since his fifth year when it had been confiscated. "Ron and Harry come with me, I must talk to you about that vampire essay. Excuse us, Severus."

He led the two boys from the room, a bout of anger boiling in the pits of his stomach. Not at anyone in particular, but in frustration. He could hardly contain it as he slammed his office door behind the two.

"Professor I-"

But Remus didn't want to hear a word of it, he stuck up his hand, "I happen to know that this map was confiscated by Mr Filch _many_ years ago," the boys looked shocked and he continued, "and yes I know it is a map. I frankly don't care how it came to be in your possession, but I am however _astounded _that you never handed it in! And there is no way I will ever be giving this back Harry!"

"But Professor, why did Snape think I got in from the manufacturers?"

"Because…" _one of them wants you dead…_ "because these mapmakers would have wanted to lure you out of the school. They think it extremely entertaining."

"Do you _know_ them?"

Remus gave him a sharp look, "We've met," he looked at the surprised faces and shook his head. "Don't expect me to cover for you again Harry. I can't make you take Sirius Black seriously, but your parents sacrificed their lives to keep you alive, Harry. A poor way to repay them indeed," before he broke down he stormed back to his office door, swung it open and motioned for the two to leave immediately.

They left without another word and Remus was left at his desk, head in his hands. Trying with all his might not to cry now. He didn't even know why he was so upset.

He pulled the map out, "_I solemnly swear that I am up to no good,"_ he muttered.

The map showed him the school and he watched Harry and Ron's name as they walked back to their common room, where they ran into Hermione. He sighed and instead watched as Albus Dumbledore pace his office as he had always done.

He was about to close the map and go to bed when for just a split second out of the corner of his eye he watched a name leave the map. _Peter Pettigrew_. He shook his head. No… it couldn't be…

But the map never lies.

**Okay ssoooo I know I know it's been a little boring… well next chapter will excite your pants off! BTW next chapter is where I start changing things from the book a lot more. And you know… a little reunion might be in order ;D YESHH**


	14. Of Long Reunions and Forgetful Nights

**Disclaimer:**_This is a work of__**fiction**__, a series of images from my own__**twisted mind**__, a story that JK would probably flinch in__**disgust**____at if she were ever to set eyes on it.__**I am sick**__, something I know, and something I embrace. These characters do not belong to me but I will take full responsibility for the__**grotesque thoughts and plots**__that ensue. I apologize in advance for the people I know I will offend._

_This is __**SLASH**__, tender at times but mostly filled with angst. But do not be mistaken every moment, tender, passionate or angsty, sweaty and heated in filled with irrevocable and inconceivable__**love.**_

_**So yes I am changing the plot now, just a little bit different than the books =)**_

**The Last Marauder  
****Chapter Fourteen**

**Of Long Reunions and Forgetful Nights**

_"Remus," he said softly, taking his lover's hands and pulling him down onto his chest, and engulfing him in a warm, passionate embrace. "Sh, stop crying. I love you, I promised you remember? I won't break my promise, ever. I love you Remmy, so much."_

_"You love me, but you don't trust me," he replied in a hushed voice._

_Sirius shook his head squeezing the man closer to himself, as if he was trying to swallow him whole. "Remus, I trust you more than most. It is me that I do not trust. Myself."_

_"Why would you not trust yourself?"_

_"My family is made up of many bad people Remus… and I fear that I may fall into their madness yet," he was shivering, but not from the cold._

_"Don't say that Sirius, you are a good, kind man. You would never betray your friends or the Order. You have too much love inside of you to ever do such a thing. Sirius you must trust yourself, for I fear a time is coming upon us that we will have no one to trust but ourselves. Please don't let Voldemort and his weakling army intimidate you."_

_"It's making me go insane Moony," he was silenced with a kiss._

Remus woke with a start. He groaned, wiped a hand down his face and flipped onto his stomach. Covering his entire bed in the sweat that glistened on his skin. "Merlin help me," he whispered. He hadn't meant for his afternoon nap to dip into the evening. But it was almost sunset now.

…and he felt like he was forgetting something…

His dreams had been getting worse and worse. Not nightmares, no the complete opposite in fact. Instead he dreamt of the days he had spent with his lover. The warm summers that the two spent secretly on the beach of the Black Lake, laughing and splashing each other. The cold nights when Remus would find his way into Sirius' four poster bed, the panic that arose when the two slept in. The days before Sirius' insanity. The light-hearted, loving Sirius that had had enough of a sense of humor to bring a smile to even McGonagall's face. He missed those days, he missed that man, and Merlin be damned, _he missed the sex_. Whether angsty and hot, or slow and passionate. He missed it every way every day.

He sighed and sat up, hearing the students in the corridor, excitedly chatting about the weekend. The Gryffindors though were still excited about winning the Quidditch cup the week before. Remus was so proud of Harry, as he proved himself to be even more advanced on the broom than James Potter himself.

His eyes wandered around the room for a moment, finally settling on the map he had confiscated from Harry. Since he had seen the name of the dead man he had been watching it constantly, never taking his eye off of it. It was obsessive and he didn't know exactly what he was to make of it, only that he was trying to find some way to overcome the cold hard facts. Even after twelve years.

Still, he got up from his bed, stretching and yawning widely, went to his desk, pulled it out and glanced over it. He groaned out loud at the sight of three names going towards Hagrid's hut. "Harry, what in the bloody hell are you playing at?" knowing the boy shouldn't be out of school at that time.

That's when he saw it. _Peter Pettigrew_. Very clearly inside Hagrid's hut. He jumped up. "Impossible!" His voice was shaking.

His mind raced with all the possible reasons for this.

_A ghost_.

…_Or…_

_Harry broke the map._

…_Or…_

_A bad enchantment on my part… _

…_Or…_

_Peter is still alive… and Sirius is completely innocent_.

He heart twisted agonizingly in his chest, his ribs threatening to break at the pressure of its pounding. _It wasn't Sirius. Peter was their secret-keeper. Peter betrayed them. Peter. Peter. Peter._

He watched as the three Gryffindor students walked away, Peter was still with them and he didn't understand, what were they doing with him? Was he spinning more lies? Trying to convince Harry that Sirius was still to blame? He didn't have time to finish this thought though because within a second another name was rushing towards the four. _Sirius Black_. The name collided into the others, before running off to the Whomping Willow, Peter and Ron in tow. Of course Harry and Hermione weren't far behind.

Still feeling as though he was forgetting something really important Remus took off out of the school and to the Whomping Willow, completely out of breath and he reached the tunnel under the tree. He searched the basement of the shack frantically, hearing nothing, but as soon as his feet touched the stairs Hermione Granger's voice rang out in fear, "We're up here! We're up here! Sirius Black – quick!"

Remus rushed upstairs and slammed the door open, with a blasting spell which he knew had been unnecessary, he froze at the sight before him. Ron and Hermione were cowering and crying in the corner, Ron's leg jutting out at an odd angle, his face white and bloodless, Harry stood a foot away, his wand at ready in a shaky hand and tears in his eyes. In front of him, crumpled in a mess of matted black hair, dirty, torn rags and quivering flesh, lay his ex-lover. Though he looked so much different than he had before. His teeth were a solid yellow, and his skin was pulled so tightly to his skull that Remus could see his protruding cheek bones. His grey eyes were blood shot, and sunken deep into the skeletal face. He was a mess, disgusting, repulsive even, and the sight of him made Lupin's heart _sing_.

"Expelliarmus!" He yelled, wand pointed at Harry, and the teenager's wands flew to the floor. Hermione was shocked, but she only cowered further into the wall, Ron's arm wrapped protectively around her.

Harry looked defeated as he just stood there, threatening to cry. Frozen in place was his hand still hanging limply out in front of him. Remus knew then that Harry must know about what Sirius had apparently done to his parents.

His eyes drifted back to Sirius once again, the grey eyes were still staring intently at Remus, tears had traveled down his cheeks, leaving trails of clean streaks in their wake. "Remus," he whispered and Lupin swallowed loudly tempted to jump the man right then and there. _No, I have to find out the truth_.

"Where is he, Sirius?" Moony said, diverting his gaze from his eyes to his chest, where he spotted tattoos, and could clearly see the bones.

Sirius gave a weak laugh in glee and thrust his finger at Ron, who whimpered. "Y-you believe me? You know he's here?"

Harry attention finally turned to his teacher and exclaimed, "What is he talking about?"

"Harry, calm down… You switched didn't you?" Sirius averted his gaze and Lupin took a step forward. "Sirius, you _switched _right, without telling Dumbledore?"

Sirius started to sit up. "You told me that I had to put a stop to my insanity… so I did… I thought… I mean Peter had been telling the Order that you…"

"Why didn't anyone ever tell me about the charm?"

"Remus… we thought you were the spy… Peter had misled us."

Lupin looked way from the man completely. "You should have trusted me."

"I know that now," Sirius fell back on the floor with an exasperated sigh.

Lupin came to his side, kicking him angrily. "You have known it then!"

Sirius flinched, "I'm sorry Remus… James and Lily they were correct, as they always were… but I just… I couldn't do anything right, I was terrified you know that!"

"Yeah I know, but I also know that you would have died for them… Peter on the other hand… he had always been a coward."

Sirius chuckled and looked at Harry, who was now glaring between the two of them, "You still going to kill me Harry?" He asked.

Harry's face was right red, "Professor Lupin… what's going?"

Lupin didn't say anything, instead he lowered his wand, and grabbed his ex-lover's hand, feeling a spark of electricity shoot up his arm and straight to his brain, triggering a chain reaction of bubbling blood, and dizzy brain waves. He pulled the man up, and pulled him in for a hug, relishing at the feel of him, but hating that he could feel his hip bones and ribs stabbing Remus' body. No muscle lived on Sirius, not anymore. He was nothing but a hopeless soul inside a worthless body.

Sirius breathed him in deeply and Remus pushed the man away slowly, seeing the look of betrayal on Harry's face, he expected the boy to explode, but instead it was the little brown haired girl that did, "I DON'T BELIEVE IT!" Her scream pierced their ears.

"Hermione-"

"You and him!"

"Hermione, calm down-"

"I didn't tell _anyone_! I've been covering for you for months!"

I saw Harry's face twitch with emotion and he knew that he had to act fast if he wanted to get a chance to explain himself. "Please, let me explain, just give me a chance to-"

"I trusted you," Harry's voice was deadly calm. "I've been coming to you for months for help. And you were working with him the whole time. You said that you were my father's friend," his green eyes flicked up, "that my mother had helped you during your hardest times."

"He was Harry, and Lily did-"

"But you were lying. This whole time you were his friend!"

Remus finally came forward, reaching to the teen, who flinched away, "Harry you're wrong. I haven't been Sirius' friend for twelve years. But I am now… let me explain-" his voice was frantic, not wanting to be interrupted yet again. But alas…

"NO!" Hermione screamed, scrambling up from the floor, much to Ron's distress, "Don't trust him Harry! He's been helping Black get into the castle – he wants you dead too. He's a _werewolf!" _She had made her way towards Harry, now only three feet in front of Remus.

Remus sighed, lowering his head. He had suspected that the girl had figured it out, the way she had been covering whenever a student brought up his absences. "Not up to your usual standards Hermione, I am afraid. Only one out of three. I have not been helping Sirius into the castle, and I most certainly do not want Harry dead," he shuttered then, not having said these words for such a long time… "But I won't deny that I am werewolf."

Ron tried to sit up then, to pull Hermione back towards himself, but his pain was too great and he gagged for a minute, moaning and slamming back to the floor, blood pooling around him faster than before. Concerned Lupin stepped for him, and he yelled, "Stay away from me, werewolf!" His voice week, but honestly terrified. Instead, Hermione went to him and touched his shoulder lightly.

Remus winced and closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath. _And so it begins_. "How long have you known?" He whispered to Hermione.

"Since I did Professor Snape's essay…" She whispered. "Ages ago…"

"He'll be delighted. He assigned that essay in hopes that one of my students would take note of it and realise my symptoms. Did you also check the lunar chart and see that I always fell ill on the full moon? Or did you realize that the boggart changed into the moon when it saw me?"

The girl looked up at him then. "Both."

He had to laugh at that. In all his years at Hogwarts he had been in numerous classes with many students who had written numerous essays on lycanthropy, and had all known that once a month he disappeared from school for a few days. Not one of them had caught on to his secret… well except his friends, but that was another story.

"You're the cleverest witch of your age I've ever met, Hermione."

"No, I'm not. If I had been cleverer I'd have told everyone what you are!"

"The staff already knows Hermione. I wouldn't have been allowed to be hired if they hadn't been notified."

"Dumbledore hired you when he knew you were a werewolf?" Ron's weak voice sounded. "Is he mad?"

Sirius snorted at that, and everyone looked at him.

"Dumbledore worked very hard to convince them that I was trustworthy, but since most of these teachers had taught me back in school, he managed it well enough."

"He was wrong!" Harry yelled, finally speaking up. "You've been helping him the entire time! You were lying to all of us!"

"Harry, I have _not_ been helping Sirius," he tried to keep his voice calm and steady. "If you would just give me a chance to explain…" and idea came to him then, and he kicked the two wands on the floor at his feet to Ron and Hermione, handing Harry his own.

Harry looked at him, scrutinizing, before finally reaching out and snatching the wand from Remus' slightly shaky hand.

"Look, you are all armed, and we aren't. Now will you listen?"

"If you haven't been helping him, how did you know he was here?" He sounded skeptical.

"The Marauder's Map," he replied and once more Sirius had a chortle, "I was in my room examining it and-"

"You know how to work it?" Harry asked, looking suspicious.

"Of course I know how to work it," he waved his hand impatiently, knowing that Sirius was itching to get at the dead man in the room, and that he didn't have much time left. "I helped write it. I'm Moony that was my friend's nickname for me at school was."

"_You wrote it_?" Harry looked astonished.

"_We_ wrote it," Sirius jumped in, "Us two, Peter and your dad, that is."

Harry looked to Sirius then, "My _dad_ helped write it?"

"Yes Harry, he was Prongs," Remus replied. "The important thing is that I didn't even know Sirius was on the grounds, not till I saw him on the map dragging Ron away that is."

"But…" Harry trailed off looking confused.

"You may have been wearing your father's cloak Harry but-"

"You know about the cloak?"

For the third time Sirius laughed out loud, "Know about his cloak? _Ha!_ The four of us practically lived under that thing."

"Yes, but Harry the point is, that even with the cloak on, you still show up on the map. It's enchanted to do so. I watched you leave Hagrid's and I watched Ron and Peter get dragged away."

"Ron _and_ Peter?" Hermione sounded confused.

"It was only me! He latched onto my leg!" Ron said angrily.

"No Ron, it was both of you," his eyes finally fell on what Sirius had been seeing the whole time. A long tail hung from Ron's shaking pocket. He swallowed hard and looked at Sirius, who returned his gaze with a pleading look. "Ron, do you think I could have a look at your rat?"

Ron grabbed hold of his pocket, obscuring the sight of its shaking, before slowly pulling the reluctant, thrashing rat from his robes. "What has Scabbers got to do with any of this?"

"That's not a rat," Sirius said, peaking over Remus' shoulder.

"What d'ya mean, of course he's a rat…"

"No he's not. He's a wizard. A terrible one at that," Lupin replied, in a harsh tone.

"An Anigamus," Sirius said, taking a shaky step forward, "by the name of Peter Pettigrew," his voice croaked from years of not being used.

Ron's rat stopped squirming and the room fell silent, before Ron finally voiced what the three must have been thinking, "You're both mental!"

"Pettigrew is _dead_! He killed him twelve years ago!"

Sirius croaked a chuckled, passing in front of Remus, stepping towards the teens, "I meant to! But little Peter got the better of me… NOT THIS TIME!" He lunged, Hermione screamed, Ron covered her, and Harry raised his wand. Lupin reached out and grabbed the man just as he landed on Ron's broken leg

"No, Sirius!" He dragged him away from the writhing ginger haired boy. "Wait! You must explain to them! They have to understand why!"

"We can afterwards!" He screamed, lunging again, tears of desperation in his eyes.

Remus pulled him away again, so his chest was flush against Sirius' back, "Sirius, calm down," he whispered in his ear, Sirius stiffened, and stopped trying to scratch at the squealing rat. "They have a right to know, they need to understand… Sirius, _I_ need to understand… please," his voice was breathy, as he tried with all his might not to cry. "Please."

Sirius, calmed, taking a deep breath through his nose, and exhaling slowly through his mouth, his eyes closed. "Remmy, I've missed-"

"Sirius," Lupin warned allowed look at the three teenagers who now stared, confused.

The dog looked up at them, and Remus could tell that he felt the same thing. They had been in their own little world for a few short seconds. But now was not the time.

"Later than," Sirius muttered, throwing Lupin off of him. "But only because Harry deserves to know the truth. Make it quite though Remus, I want to commit the murder I was imprisoned for…"

"You're nutters, both of you," Ron said, shaking. "Come on, Harry, Hermione. We've gotta get out of here," he tried to get up on his good leg, Scabbers almost escaping in the process. Sirius, pressed a hand to his chest, and he fell back with a yelp.

"You're not going anywhere with _him_," he hissed, and Ron nodded in fear.

"Hey!" Hermione stepped in front of the man, and Lupin pulled him back.

"Sirius, stop it," he pushed the man back behind him, and looked at Harry. "Look, I believed that Peter was dead too, all these years I was convinced… but the Map never lies Harry," he saw a look in the boys eyes that told him he wasn't the only one who had seen the name on the map. "Peter is alive. Ron is holding him."

"Ronald is holding a rat!" Hermione exclaimed.

"An animagus," Sirius snarled. "Just like me! And just like Harry's father!"

"My dad-"

"There is no way! I've seen the list of animagus'! I would have remembered if I had seen any of those names on the list! McGonagall made us study them. There has only been _seven_ this century! _Seven_ names that are most definitely not YOU!" She was shouting now, in a state that Remus had never seen the girl in before.

Remus started laughing. "Hermione, I'm not sure if you understand how loyal my friends actually were. The ministry never knew there were three unregistered animagi running around the school."

"Get on with it Remmy!" Sirius barked.

Remus shot him a look, "Don't call me that Pads."

"Mental," Ron muttered again.

Remus sighed and started his story. He told the teens about how young he had been when he got bitten, and how Dumbledore had been a great, wise and kind man. "My parents didn't think I would be able to go to Hogwarts… but Dumbledore had a solution for everything. He planted the Whomping Willow, and build the shack," he continued with the story. They were astonished when he tells them about his transformations before the Wolfsbane, about how he would maul himself unconsciously. "But apart from transformations, I was happier than I had been before. I had three friends, three great, loyal friends. Sirius Black… Peter Pettirgrew… and of course, your father Harry – James Potter."

Sirius jumped in then, "Of course we noticed when he ditched once a month, noticed when he showed up all bandaged up. We ended up beating it out of him what he was," Remus snorted, remembering how James and Sirius had spent months coming up with the stupidest scenarios, the one they assumed to be least likely, him being a werewolf

Sirius shot him a look, "We figured it out pretty quick, and we were more than happy about it. I mean how many people can say that one of their best friends aren't human?"

Remus rolled his eyes, "Long story short, they didn't desert me like I thought. Instead they did something that not only made my transformations bearable, but the best times of my life. They became animagi. Your father and Sirius here were the smartest students in our year, and it's lucky they were because animagi transformations can go horribly wrong – part of the reason that the ministry keeps such a close eye on the ministry. It took the better part of four years, but finally, in our fifth year, they did it. They were able to transform at will."

"What good did that do?" Hermione asked, calmer now, as she was listening to the story intently.

"They could never accompany me as humans. But as animals, they were free to be beside me at all times, without the fear that I would kill them," He went on to explain how they were able to enter the willow, and the nights that followed. Sirius adding funny comments about some of the things they did, snide comments about Filch. Hermione chided them, commenting on how dangerous it was, lecturing about the consequences of such actions.

"We were young and careless, and yeah there were many close calls… and I mean _a lot_, but we just laughed about them later, arrogant little gits that we were," Sirius' smile seemed out-of-place on his bony cheeks.

Moony could almost see the old Sirius for a moment, the young spirited one that he had been so desperately in love with, that he longed for every moment of his life.

At that moment Peter decided to let out a particularly loud squeal and Sirius' laughing face turned dark again as he stepped forward, "Remus," he warned, and Lupin put a hand on the man's shoulder.

"I'm almost done, calm down. Look, the thing is I've been battling with myself for years. Wanting to tell Dumbledore about Sirius being an animagus, but I was stuck between an old secret, and a need to be accepted by him. I thought if I told him I wouldn't be able to teach at the school… and since the war ended, getting a job has been so hard… So when Sirius started sneaking into the school I convinced myself he was using the dark magic that I thought Voldemort had taught him, that being an Animagus had nothing to do with it… but… Snape's been right about me this whole time…"

Sirius' head jerked toward Remus' "Snivellus?" He hissed, "What has he got to do with any of this?"

"He's here, Sirius. He's teaching here as well," he looked at the teens, ignoring Sirius' snort, "Snape was here with us at school. He was in our year… and something happened with him in our sixth year…" he trailed off, looking at Sirius, who swallowed hard. They hadn't spoken of their big fight before.

Sirius continued, "I played a prank of Severus. He had been snooping around after us like the big git he was. He was convinced that we were up to something dark. He was just looking to get us expelled though… so I told him how to get into the Whomping Willow…" he slowly, and emotionally went through the story, ultimately ending with James being the big hero in the whole thing, but of course Remus didn't quite agree, as it had been he who helped put Snape in that situation in the first place.

"He caught a glimpse of what I was… and he was forbidden by Dumbledore not to tell anybody… but from that time on he knew what I was…"

"So that's why Snape doesn't like you," Harry said slowly.

"That's right," a cold voice sounded from behind Remus and he turned to see Snape pull James' old invisibility cloak off of himself and point his wand directly at Lupin's chest, prepared to curse him at any moment.

Hermione screamed, and Sirius whipped around, "_Snivellus_," he smirked. "How nice of you to join us. Now leave."

"Black," Snape hissed not taking his eyes off of Remus. "You are, of course, wondering how I found you. I went to Lupin's room because he had forgotten to take his potion tonight, but he wasn't there… and I just happened to find that _horrendous _map… and I just happened to see you running towards the damned tree… I followed you to give you the potion. Funny what I've found now. The dementors will be quite happy."

"Severus, I can explain. You haven't heard everything, you're making a mistake. Sirius is not here to kill Harry."

"Two more for Azkaban tonight Remus," Snape sneered, "Dumbledore will be quite unhappy about this. Especially since I was right!"

"Fool! Is a school-boy grudge, worth sending an innocent man to prison over?" Sirius sounded almost bored compared to Remus' pleading voice.

Lupin stepped forward and Snape lifted his wand more, "Give me one reason," he snarled.

Harry took that moment to step in yelling "YOU STUPID GIT! JUST BECAUSE OF SOME PRANK THEY PLAYED ON YOU BACK IN SCHOOL YOU WON'T EVEN LISTEN!"

"Silence Potter!" He yelled stepping forward

Harry wasted no time and screamed, "Expelliarmus!" Sending Snape flying back in the four poster bed.

Both Remus and Sirius jumped back, and stared at the boy, who was panting hard. "FINISH THE DAMNED STORY!"

"You shouldn't have done that Harry… you should have left him to me," Sirius' grey eyes were almost black as he stared at Snapes rumbled, unconscious body.

Lupin jumped right back into the story, telling about what the Order had told him about the night the Potters died, and then it was Sirius' turn. He explained how he had seen Peter in a picture in the daily prophet, and how he had escaped Azkaban. He finished off finally with his explanation of how Crookshanks had been helping him get into the school.

"So you came to finish Peter off," Harry said, his eyes glowing with pure hatred at Sirius.

Sirius, although confused, continued, "Yes Harry… I have been waiting twelve years for this day."

"You're going to kill him like you killed my parents!" He hollered and Remus took a step back.

"Harry don't you see…"

"He admitted it before you came! He said it himself that he killed them!"

Sirius hung his head, "I as good as killed them Harry. I persuaded Lily and James to change secret keepers… I didn't trust myself anymore, and it was driving me insane… I had turned against Remus even. One morning I woke up and I remembered everything about the secret… and that meant that the charm was broken… it meant that Peter had betrayed Lily and James… so I went straight to your house and- and I – I found... their bodies… and Lily's face was just so… and you were just crying…" he choked a little, looking away.

Remus put a hand on Sirius shoulder, "Harry, Sirius did not kill you parents. He switched to Peter because no one ever expected him to be involved in anything dark. Of course we were wrong, and he betrayed them. That is why they died, not because of Sirius. Now no more arguing there is only one way to prove ourselves fully. Ron _give me that rat_."

Ron hesitated for a moment before holding Scabbers out. Harry handed Remus his wand back and Sirius retrieved Snapes from the bed.

"On three Remmy," he said.

Remus nodded, ignoring the nickname. "One, two…. THREE!"

They both cast the spell and a shot of white landed on the rat, it quivered and squealed, and before they knew it, he was growing into a full grown human. Remus was filled with hatred in that moment. One of his closest friends right before his eyes. The man who killed James and Lily, the man who had taken Sirius away from him.

"R-Remus? S-Sirius? My old friends!" he stuttered, going to hug them.

Sirius lifted the wand, "Avada Ke-" he started to yell, put Lupin seized his wrist.

"Look Peter, we've been having a little chat, and there is some stuff that we have to clear up with you about what happened the night that Lily and James died."

Peter's eyes flashed to Remus, "He tried to kill me! You believe me right? I've been in hiding! Don't let him kill me Remus, please Moony. Don't let him hurt me."

He cowered, and shuffled towards Lupin who held out his wand, bringing Wormtail to a stop, "Shut up!"

"Remus please, he's lying! Always lying! You-know-who taught him dark tricks! Nasty magic!"

Sirius laughed, "Voldemort taught _me_ dark magic?"

Peter flinched.

"What don't like hearing your master's name Peter? Say it, Voldemort!" Sirius continued to yell, and Peter flinched.

"Don't say his name," he hissed, pleadingly, turning to Ron. "Kind master… loyal master, I've been a good pet right? A faithful pet… you don't want me dead!"

Ron pushed the stout man away, in downright disgust, "I let you sleep in my bed!"

He turned instead to the black haired boy, "Harry… Harry… you look like James… just like your father…"

"How dare you speak to Harry?" Sirius roared, "How dare you face him? How dare you speak of James in front of him?"

Peter squealed and scurried away from the man man. "He would have killed me Sirius!"

"Then you should have died! Died rather than betray your friends, as any of us would have done for you!" Sirius' voice was hoarse from yelling and screaming.

Lupin stepped in, and in a chillingly calm voice he says, "You should have realised Peter that if Voldemort didn't kill you, we would. Goodbye."

The two lifted their wands, and just as Remus was about to kill the man that had ruined his whole life, just as he was about to get redemption for what had happened, Harry jumped out in front of them. "NO!"

"Harry! Thank you!" Peter threw himself at the teen and Harry quickly kicked him off.

"Get off me! I'm not doing this for you! I'm doing this because I don't think my dad would have wanted his best friends to be murderers! No, you deserve something far worse than that. I believe a dementors kiss will suffice," he sneered at the cowering man, and Remus smiled, nodding.

"I believe that is perfect."

"Oh-no! No please!"

It was too late though, Sirius was tying him up with a body binding spell that he handed control over to Harry, who dragged the man down the stairs. Remus went to Ron. "We'll have to get you to Madame Pomfrey about this leg. I can't exactly heal bones, but this will have to suffice for now," he cast a charm that wrapped a tight bandage around Ron's leg, and he groaned in pain. "You'll be able to stand now."

Ron gingerly stood up, Hermione's arm under his, "Come on Ronald," she whispered, helping him from the room.

Remus looked at Sirius, who was leaning over Snape, checking to see if he was still breathing. "Well he's out cold, but when he wakes up he'll be mighty pissed. Poor Harry. Min as well leave him though. No way to get him out of here now."

Remus nodded and Sirius stood up straight, leaving his wand on the bed next to the potions teacher.

Sirius stared at Remus, and Lupin couldn't help but hold his breath. "Remus," he whispered and Moony nodded.

"I know Sirius, I know," he took a step forward, but Sirius beat him to it, lunging at the man, feeling like he would break under the pressure of the other man's embrace. "You need to eat something," Remus said light heartedly and Sirius snorted again.

"Thanks Remmy," his sarcastic voice was made all the better by the smile on his face and Remus couldn't help but lean forward, and press his lips lightly to the other man's cracked ones.

Sirius, longing for this, responded heatedly, his teeth nipping at Remus' lips. Remus gasped and opened his mouth, his arms tightening around Sirius' neck. Padfoot's tongue was warm and soft, just as Remus remembered, and it certainly had not forgotten its way around his mouth. It probed and moved gently, slowing the kiss down. Remus' heart was about to explode, and tears spilled over on his face, he felt Sirius' do the face, and soon they were just hugged, sobbing and trying to hold on to each other.

"I will never trust anyone as much as I trust you Remus, I promise. I'm sorry I was ever suspicious of you. I should have known better," Sirius' mumbled words came quickly, as he gripped the fabric of Remus' shirt.

"I forgive you Sirius, you're alright now."

After a long moment, they pulled away from each other. "We better go get them back to the school," Remus said and Sirius nodded.

They departed the building hand in hand, only letting go of each other once they were in the trees tunnel. They found Ron and Hermione sitting next to the tree with a struggling Peter Pettigrew, and Harry standing off in the distance, looking up at the sky.

"I'm going to go talk to him..." Sirius said motioning towards Harry.

"He's a good kid Sirius," Remus patted his shoulder and Sirius gave him a goofy grin.

"The best."

Laughing, Lupin went to Peter, "You should stop trying to escape Peter, we won't let you get away again," the man just tried harder.

"Professor I have a very important question to ask you," Hermione said from where she sat beside Ron.

"What is it Hermione?"

"Professor Snape was looking for you to give you your potion, but he never did end up getting it to you… and tonight's the fullmoon…" she trailed off but Remus caught on immediately, cursing himself for being so stupid.

The moon would be up at any moment, "Miss Granger, take these three back to the castle, and find the first teach you run into," He said quickly.

Hermione nodded and Ron freaked out a little, "You mean you're going to change?"

"Go!" He said, already feeling that it was too late as she pulled the injured boy up, and attempted to lift Peter with the enchantment.

Remus froze, feeling tiny prickles all over his skin.

"Harry!" Hermione screamed.

Lupin eyes lost focus, and all he knew was the shaking in his bones. "Run, run now!" Sirius' voice sounded, Remus saw Harry run towards his friends, but Sirius pushed him away. "Leave it to me, just RUN!"

That was the last thought Remus had that night. After that there was nothing but pain, familiar aches that had disappeared with the Wolfsbane, he felt his bones break and reheal at odd angles and he felt his skin tighten sickeningly. His eyes narrowed, and his mind was lost.

The last event that he could bring himself to remember was seeing a giant black dog growl at him. He howled, took the less superior animal into his jaw tightly, tasting blood, and he tossed it aside. The dog whimpered, its breathing slowing down, and the werewolf took off into the forest.

Remus Lupin was gone for the night.


	15. Of Resignations and Voyeur Hippogriffs

**Disclaimer: **_This is a work of __**fiction**__, a series of images from my own __**twisted mind**__, a story that JK would probably flinch in __**disgust **__at if she were ever to set eyes on it. __**I am sick**__, something I know, and something I embrace. These characters do not belong to me but I will take full responsibility for the __**grotesque thoughts and plots **__that ensue. I apologize in advance for the people I know I will offend._

_This is__**SLASH**__, tender at times but mostly filled with angst. But do not be mistaken every moment, tender, passionate or angsty, sweaty and heated in filled with irrevocable and inconceivable __**love.**_

_**This just may be the end.**_

**The Last Marauder  
****Chapter Fifteen**

**Of Resignations and Voyeur Hippogriffs**

"All of you out! This isn't a show!" Madame Pomfrey's voice was loud and demanding, starling Remus awake.

"What's he look like?" A teenage voice said.

"Is he big and hairy?"

"Is he going to eat someone?"

"Get out of here!" Her voice was even louder than before and Remus winced, a raging headache forming deep in his brain.

Remus woke up in the hospital wing, where he had taken himself first thing in the morning after waking up in the Shrieking Shack with numerous injuries. The curtains around his bed were drawn tightly around him. Even so the bright sun that shone through the translucent curtains indicated that it was noon and he groaned, trying to remember what had happened after his transformation the night before._ Did anyone get hurt?_

_...Sirius…_

He saw the dog in the back of his mind, being thrown aside, deep gashes in its back and sides. He had bit him…

"You're awake," Pomfrey opened the curtains a little, stepping into the small space and handing him numerous cups of potions, all of which smelt very familiar, the same ones he had to take back in school before Wolfsbane had been invented. "How are you feeling?" She asked, taking his temperature.

He shrugged, "Did anyone get hurt? Hermione, Ron, Harry?"

She shook her head, "Not from you at least. They're all here, still sleeping of course, and Mr. Weasley has a broken leg, he says that he was attacked by a dog, but otherwise, all is okay."

Remus nodded, sipping a purple liquid that smelt like bleach from a small cup. His stomach growled loudly and took it as a good sign, it meant that he hadn't eaten anything the night before. This gave him some solace.

"Poppy?" Dumbledore's voice came into the room.

"In here Albus."

The elderly man stepped around the curtain just as Remus took his last potion. "How are you Remus?"

"I am alright… do you believe that I can have a word with you Headmaster?"

Dumbledore nodded solemnly. "I understand. When you are feeling up to it, come straight to my office," he turned to leave, but as a second thought he looked to the man, "And you needn't worry about the ministry, I've cleared it all up. The ministry is well aware of how you_ saved those three from Black last night_. No more dementors at this school, not as long as I'm here at least."

Remus smiled, his heart breaking all over again, "Thank you, it's more than I deserve," and with that Albus walked away humming.

Remus spent the better part of an hour writing his resignation letter, and when he had finally perfected it he left the hospital wing, thanking Poppy for all her help.

Dumbledore was waiting for him at his desk, stroking Fawkes' red feathers lovingly. "Remus," he greeted.

Lupin nodded and came closer, holding out the letter. "I want to thank you for this opportunity, but it seems that not only did I have an extremely close call last night, but the whole school seems to know about my little _problem_."

Dumbledore nodded, taking the letter in his hand, "Remus, if you would like to stay I am sure that I can-"

"No, you've done enough for me as it is… though I was wondering one thing…"

"And what's that?"

"Do you know what actually happened last night?"

Dumbledore sighed, "Have a seat Remus," Lupin, hesitantly sat down across from the man, "You are of course wondering about Sirius Black?"

Remus looked at his feet, "Professor he's-"

"Innocent? I am aware. No _human _steps foot on theses grounds without my knowledge. I know that Peter Pettigrew was here last night Remus, I know that Sirius wasn't at fault for any of this. Lily and James must have switched their secret-keeper without informing me. Sirius has served an undeserved sentence."

"Did Peter get sent to Azkaban then? Did he get the kiss?" Dumbledore made a sympathetic face that told Lupin otherwise. "Headmaster, Sirius _was_ cleared of his conviction… right?"

"I'm sorry Remus, but Peter got away last night."

Remus was on his feet in an instant, knowing exactly what this meant. "So Sirius got caught? He got the kiss didn't he?" Lupin's head was spinning, after everything Sirius was gone anyways. He had finally got him back, as an innocent man no less. Now everything was over.

"Remus, please sit back down," Lupin sighed shakily and slid back into the seat. "Thanks to the valiant, efforts of Miss. Granger and Mr. Potter, efforts that involved a fair amount of rule breaking, I mean with the patronus charm and flying a hippogriff and such… but they were very successful in their rescue mission. Sirius is safe, I'm not entirely sure where, but he is."

He thought back to the bite then. Taking Sirius in his jaw and clamping down… he remembered passing his curse on to Sirius

Remus breathed in deeply, hanging his head a little, "You know about Harry's patronus training than?"

"Ah yes! I meant to congratulate you on that, he's able to cast a full form patronus. It's quite magnificent actually. A stag I believe," he gave Remus a pointed look. "yes, _quite magnificent_."

Moony smiled a little, there was really nothing this man didn't know. "Thank you. I am very proud of him. As would Lily and James be if they were here today," Albus nodded soberly, a twinkle in his eye.

An owl flew in through the open window next to them and planted five or six envelopes on his desk. Remus knew that they were probably from parents all over Britain. "I'm going to go pack," he says standing.

"I will get for a carriage, thank you Remus."

Lupin left the room, walking slowly back to his office, wondering briefly if he'll ever step foot in the school again.

"Lupin! Oi' Lupin!" Hagrid came up behind him, "I…I ah heard what happened and I know this probably isn't the best time but uh… well… Buckbeak disappeared last night… and I was just wondering if you remember… if you happened to see… or perhaps – by accident_ of course_ – eat… or attack… him…"

"Hagrid, don't worry, I didn't eat anything last night. I'm sorry if I worried you," he gave a smile and Hagrid smiled back.

"O'course, s'alright… sorry I just had to ask."

"It's understandable. Hagrid it was great working with you, you're an amazing teacher," he shook the half-giants hand.

"Yur leavin' then?"

"Unfortunately I'm going to have to. Can't exactly be teaching with all these condescending parents now can I? They just don't understand that we can't all be human I suppose. Maybe we should warn Binns, and Flitwick." Hagrid chuckled and nodded.

"I'll be next just wait," at this they both laughed and Lupin was back on his way back to his classroom.

He found his room already packed, and proceeded to his office, where everything was exactly as it was when he had left. With a great sigh he started packing, and after about an hour he picked up the Marauders map to see Harry and his friends in the Great Hall with Hagrid, he was just setting it down when Harry was racing away from them, towards his class.

_He must have heard what happened_.

The door was open but all the same the boy knocked on the door, "I saw you coming Harry," Lupin smiled at the boy, mentally searching his appearance for any injuries that he may have gotten from the night before. Other that a few scratches on his face, the boy appeared to be perfectly fine.

"I just saw Hagrid, and he said that you resigned. It's not true is it?"

"I am afraid it is," Remus continued smiling as he emptied the contents of one of his drawers.

"_Why?_ The Ministry of Magic don't think you were helping Sirius, do they?" His voice was edgy, and Lupin couldn't believe how brave the boy could be, remembering how he stood up to a supposed serial killer the night before.

"No Harry, Professor Dumbledore convinced Fudge that I was only trying to save your lives," he let out a huge sigh, knowing how it had been the exact opposite. "That was the final straw for Severus I suppose. So he – er_ –_ _accidently _let slip that I am a werewolf to his students."

"You're not leaving just because of that!" Harry exclaimed rushing forward.

Lupin had to smile wryly. The boy was too much like his father, and his mother. It was as though the best things about both of them were put together. Her fierce gaze, and determination, and his resilient loyalty and majestic bravery. He laid a hand on Harry's shoulder.

"This time tomorrow owls will have arrived from the parents of every single one of my students. They won't exactly be thrilled about having a werewolf as their student's teacher now will they? And last night I suppose that after last night I see their point. I could have bitten any of you…that must never happen ever again…"

"But you're the best defence against that dark arts teacher we've ever had. Don't go!"

Lupin shook his head, not sure what to say. He continued to pack the room up, as Harry watched helplessly. He couldn't believe that that was even possible, for the teen to feel helpless, he had done more for Sirius than Remus could have ever done. And for that he was forever in the boy's debt. "From what the Headmaster told me this morning, you saved a lot of lives last night Harry. If I'm proud of anything, it's how much you've learned. Tell me about your patronus."

"How do you know about that?"

"What else could have driven the dementors back?"

Harry nodded, and told him the story as Remus continued to pack. "Well Sirius, Hermione and I were being attacked… and so I did exactly what you taught me, but this time my happy thought was something stronger than I've ever felt before," he smiled, "it was about Sirius actually, he said that he'd take me away from the Dursley's if I wanted… you know because he's my godfather..." he smile faltered a little, "I know that won't be happening _now_, but it worked at the time… and my protonus showed itself. A magnificent stag… that's what my father was wasn't it? _Prongs_."

Lupin nodded his grin even broader. "You guess right, your father was always a stag when he transformed. That's why we called him Prongs."

He threw the last of his things into his enchanted suitcase, before closing it. He remembered a few things then, "Your invisibility cloak was in the Shack this morning, you left it last night," he reached under the desk, and pulled it out. His eyes caught sight of the old, enchanted map that still sat on the desk. "And…" he considered his thoughts for a moment, wondering if handing the marauders map over to Harry was smart. With the kid being James' clone there was no way of telling what trouble the boy would get into it… of course in the long run… "Here. I am no longer your teacher, so I don't feel guilty about giving you this back as well. It's no use for me, and I daresay you, Hermione and Ron will find uses for it."

Harry grinned at the map, and then there was a knock at the door. Professor Dumbledore came in then, not glancing twice at Harry, "Remus your carriage is at the gates."

"Thank you, headmaster," Remus said, taking his suitcase and the empty grindylow tank, "Well, good-bye, Harry. It's been a real pleasure teaching you. I feel we'll meet again sometime. Headmaster, there is no need to meet me at the gates. I can manage…" he felt tears prickling in his eyes.

"Good-bye Remus," Dumbledore shook his hand and Remus patted Harry on the shoulder firmly, and then he left the office, getting to the carriage quickly. He had no idea where he was going. No idea what he was going to do.

"The Leaky Cauldron," he said quietly to the driver.

He fell asleep sometime on the road, lost in thought, wondering if he would ever see Sirius again, if it was safe to even be thinking about it. Then again the ministry was probably more worried about him biting random kids at the school then the fact the Sirius Black escaped again.

He woke up when the carriage jerked to a halt. "Thanks," he said paying the man six galleons. He got a modest room, and threw his stuff to the floor before stuffing his face into the dirty pillow.

He didn't start crying until shortly before he fell asleep, and even then it was only silent tears that left wet spots on his pillow case. But sleep came and his dreams were back…

"_Sirius what are you doing they'll hear us," Remus' voice was hushed but panicked as his boyfriend pushed him into a broom closet. He had been on their way to his Charms NEWT, a completely normal day, with completely innocent intentions. Remus was busy thinking about the right hand motion for the knock-out charm when he was suddenly pushed into the dark space._

"_Shh," Sirius whispered, pressing his lips to the boy's neck. "I missed you."_

"_Sirius," he mumbled. "I've got to get to my NEWT, it's my last one… I can't be late."_

"_Mmm, you should just miss it, and I'll miss my Astronomy one, and we'll stay at Hogwarts for another year. Together." _

_Remus grasped his chin and pulled him up to look at him. "You're still worried about what's going to happen after this year, aren't you?" He was of course referring to the fact that they were graduating in two days. _

"_Remmy… I just don't want to lose you."_

_Moony kissed the boy soundly. "I love you, and you are not going to lose me. I promise."_

"_I know it's just that James and Lily are buying a house together and it's not like I can just keep living with his parents… that would be awkward," Remus chuckled, "I just don't know what's going to happen… and it's kind of scary, isn't it?"_

"_What is this? The Sirius Black afraid?"_

_Sirius pulled him in tighter, "Yes Remus. I am afraid, but not of losing you… I'm afraid that the real world is going to hit us and we're going to wake up one day and realize-"_

_Moony leaned in and kissed him soundly. "Sirius, shut up."_

_Four days later you would find the Marauders sitting in a compartment on the Hogwarts express, everyone was quiet. They all just stared at their old school sadly. Thinking back to all the memories they had in it. They were leaving their second home and going out into the real world._

"_So Prongsie darling, when are you going to leave your girly-poo for me?" Sirius says suddenly, wanting to leave the solemn moment behind. "You know, that now that we aren't in school anymore this thing we have doesn't have to go away before it's actually started," he takes James' hand. "What d'yah say love?"_

_Peter and Remus almost die laughing, but James only stares absently at their hands. His hanging limply in Sirius' grip. "I'm asking Lily to marry me," James says after a minute._

_Sirius drops his hand and the other three shut up. James reached into his pocket and pulls out a ring box. "It's mums," he says._

"_When?" Sirius was obviously excited, "I'm your best man right? And the godfather of all your babies?" He waggled his eyebrows. "They're all gunna call me Uncle Sirius right… oh my god that's why you're doing this! Evans is preggo! I knew it!"_

_James smirked and shoved the ring back in his pocket, "No, mate… I love her… and yeah of course you're the best man and stuff," he looked at Remus and Peter, "Sorry guys…"_

_Remus shrugs, a smile planted firm on his face, "I understand, I mean you can't share a bedroom with a mate for two years and not end up… close…" he wiggles his eye brows, "If you know what I mean… and I know you do."_

_Sirius barks a laugh, "How true, how true. Well mate… I just can't believe that you're finally growing up…" he sniffs and launches onto James, who just laughs._

"_What about all of you gits, you gunna go out and get some girls? You need to grow up too," He pushed Sirius to floor, and he slumped against Remus' legs._

"_Nah, I think I'm just gunna take Dumbledore up on that offer. You know about the Order of the Phoenix, get rid of that damned Voldemort..."_

"_Me too, what about you guys?"_

"_Same," says Peter, suddenly looking nervous._

"_Yeah me too. Though Sirius and I were also going to move in together. Thought it would be cheaper… right Pads?"_

_Sirius turned on him quickly, giving him a look that only he could see. One that showed he had never been happier. "Yeah, Rem and I… we're going to live together."_

"_So we're all getting a job, James is getting married and you two are getting your own house..." Peter trailed off as Lily walked in. She just smiled, and sat beside James, obviously she hadn't heard what he had said. _

"_We are growing up…" Sirius said quietly._

"_Only one thing to say to that…" James said with a sad smile, wrapping an arm around Lily._

_The other three look at their friend. The obvious leader of The Marauders who were so much like brothers. He looked at them all, one at a time, and his smile turned from sad, to ecstatic, "Mischief managed."_

_And then the train pulled from the station, and Remus knew that the five of them would be together for the rest of their lives. _

An incessant tapping brought Remus from his happy dream. "Come in," he called sleepily at whoever was at the door, but no one came in.

The tapping however, continued.

"Ugh," he groaned and sat up, looking around the room. It took him a moment, but he soon realized that it was an owl at his window.

He opened it and the angry black owl dropped the letter, before perching on a lamp on the desk. Remus rolled his eyes, picking up the envelope, "I don't have food for you… shoe," he waved a hand and it and it screeched, snapping its beak at him. "Okay! You can stay… just don't expect anything…"

He sat on his bed and ripped open the letter, fully expecting something from an angry parent… only when he opened it he found a familiar scrawl. A chicken scratch that he'd know anywhere…

_Dear Remmy,_

_I am sorry that we didn't get the chance to talk that much before the moon came up. I understand that you're probably worried about the bite, but you needn't worry! Animagus don't get infected, not in their animal form at least. Don't worry, I did my homework. _

_From what I understand you're out a job and a home… and so I have some good news. My mom died! Yeah I know harsh, but it means that the house is empty. You remember it right? Good, because I have a very empty bed…_

_Come stay with me or my owl will bite you. _

_I won't let go, I promised._

_-Padfoot_

Remus smiled.

The owl bit him anyways.

**(time lapse cuz stupid line duz not work la la la)**

The front door was unlocked when he walked in, his suitcase and empty grindylow tank at hand. The house was disgusting, dusty and stale. Not at all the majestic House of Black that he remembered from the one time he had been there during the summer in their third year.

"Sirius?" he said, looking around, and finding no one.

He dropped his stuff near the door and went up the old creaky steps, hearing music streaming from Sirius' old room.

He sat on his bed, reading an old text book, looking a lot cleaner than he had when he had seen him two days before. His walls were still plastered with pictures of motorcycles and half-naked women. Remus smirked, remembering how he had put them up to piss his parents off.

"Sirius you have got to cut your hair," he said, and the man looked up.

Sirius lowered his book, a smile on his face, "I don't know, I think I can sport the ass-length hair, don't you?"

Remus laughed and went to the bed, "Absolutely not."

Sirius put his book down on the side table next to him and sat up, "You know you might actually just have to get used to it."

Remus leaned in, lowering his voice, "Cut your hair or my owl will bite you."

Sirius laughed, "Is that a threat Mr. Moony?"

"Most definitely," Remus whispered before kissing Sirius, hard.

Sirius flipped them over, pinning Remus to the bed, "I missed you," he growled, tearing at Lupin's shirt.

"You have no idea," Remus said back, allowing the man to ravish him. He turned his head to the side, breathing heavily. "Uh… Sirius…"

Sirius unlatched his lips from Remus' throat, "What is it Remmy?" His voice was low, and scratchy, filled with pure lust.

"Why is there a hippogriff in your room?"

Buckbeak, was staring straight at them with bright yellow eyes.


End file.
